This course will help you start to have kinder thoughts about your body and align them more with the Lord. So you can get that workbook as you listen to this in the description, or you can just listen to this and do it on any piece of paper. The second thing that you need to know is all of this work can be done without changing your body.

You can literally change the way you feel about your body without it actually physically changing. But, if you find you are ready to start your weight loss journey, then also I am giving a special just this week for 72 hours special pricing and discount on my weight loss guaranteed coaching. Yes, that is true.

It is a guarantee and I guarantee that you will lose the weight that you and I agree upon, which we will agree upon when we talk. In six months I will work with you until you do a couple things. You need to know This is for someone who finds that the group setting does not Provide the level of accountability that they need This is also for someone who really likes to know what to be told To focus on and what to do.

So there’s a link in the description. You can find out all the details, the pricing, what is required to meet the guarantee and all of that jazz that’s also in the description. All right guys, enjoy this training and happy valentine’s day. I’ve struggled with being self conscious about my body and thinking that I was way too fat since I was in third grade. 

In fact, the first time I remember feeling like there was something wrong with my body was after overhearing a very innocent comment about my size compared to my older cousin, who I absolutely thought was beautiful and amazing when I was six years old. So before I tell you even more about me, let me tell you what this is about. I will help you understand why you believe what you believe and how beliefs are formed.

You’re not crazy. Someone taught you what you believe now and right now you think it’s true, which is fine. But I want to  help you understand why you believe what you believe. I’m going to help you also get really clear on how that’s affecting your life now. And the best part is I’ll teach you a very simple process that will help you feel better about your body for the rest of your life.

No matter if you’re 50 pounds heavier, 50 pounds lighter, pregnant, postpartum. It doesn’t matter at any time in your life, no matter what your body looks like. I’m going to teach you how to feel really good about it. So now back to my story. And as I tell you my story, I want you to listen for the moments that you can clearly see.

That I was being taught what to believe about my body. You’ll see this recurring theme throughout this entire short course, is that everything that you think about your body, you were taught. a thought that you have practiced over and over you believe is true I’ll be using the words belief and thought synonymously. When you have a belief or a thought, it’s like you put on these glasses and you look at the entire world with these glasses on, and once you have those glasses on, you start seeing all the evidence that will prove it to be true.

And I’ll explain that a little bit more, but just so you know. You were taught the thoughts about your body. You just practice them over and over, put those glasses on. And so your entire life, you just saw all the evidence that was true. Let me put it to you this way.

It’s like stereotyping. So if you believe that older people are grumpy, then you’re going to have those glasses and start seeing all the older people that seem grumpy. If you believe that young drivers are bad drivers, then you’re going to start to see all the young drivers and all the evidence that they’re bad drivers.

Now on the flip side, if you believe that women who have a family and children are happier, you’re going to have those glasses on and see all the evidence for well, she’s got kids, see how happy she is or if you believe that thinner people have more friends, then you’ll have those glasses on and you’ll start to see all the evidence for how a thinner person or a thin person has more friends. 

And so I just want you to understand how the brain works a little bit there. So let’s get back to my story and I want you to be listening for all the things that I was taught about my body through  either things that people told me about my body, or the way they treated their body or made comments about other people’s bodies. So it might not be things that people explicitly said to me, but I was picking up as a kid, the way that they treated themselves or the comments they were making about other people.

Okay. And I’m sure you can start to relate in your own story, the things that you were taught about your body in the same way. So yeah, let’s begin. I grew up in a home where my mom was continually dieting. She talked often about God’s chosen ones. And these were in her mind, because she had those glasses on, God’s chosen ones were thin people that she believed could eat whatever they wanted.

They didn’t have to worry about their weight. And that’s what she believed, and then I adopted that as I got older. I grew up believing that it was totally normal to obsess about what you look like in your weight. I grew up believing that it was very important to know how much you weigh.  I grew up believing that it was also really important to watch what you eat, to know what you eat and how it affects your body. 

And that if you don’t have a certain body size, you need to be even more careful about what you eat. But if you’re thin,  it’s really not that big of a deal. Whatever thing meant at that time. Like I said, my very first memory was overhearing a comment from my grandma, who’s literally my favorite person on this entire earth.

She’s passed away now, but she’s my favorite person. Second to Jesus and Mary that ever walked the earth. And I know she loved me very much, but I overheard a comment when I was six years where she was comparing my body to  my cousins. And I can’t know for sure, but I’m pretty sure the conversation was something like this.

My grandma bought me an Easter dress. And my mom said to her, how did you know what size to get for Denise? And my grandma said I know she’s about Danielle’s size, but a little bigger.  Literally, that’s all I remember. And that’s all it took. That’s how innocent that conversation was, but my child brain made it mean so much more, way more than my grandma even intended.  Other things that I was taught that I was a barrel chests like my dad. That I had football shoulders. That I would also never have a weight problem because I took after my dad’s side of the family and not my mom’s side of the family.

Isn’t that interesting? And I was also taught that my body shape, I didn’t have a waist. As I grew up, I was not only very conscious of my own body, but also other people’s bodies. I was very aware of the size of the people in a room of a social situation, and I would feel more confident if I was thinner than the majority of them. 

Like you, I’m assuming my looks were not only a source of security, but also insecurity, just depending on the day and who else I was around and how I was feeling about myself. I recall coming home after the first semester of my freshman year, having gained 10 or 15 pounds, and knowing  that it would be noticed. Now, nobody would likely say anything, but  I knew that the increase of weight would be noticed. 

And then outside of my family, it’s important to note that as I grew up, as you grew up, the culture and society, and who you thought was the best. Beautiful started to tell you about your body, even though they weren’t direct messages. You started to get an idea that looking this way, long hair, short hair, bigger, thinner, big chested, little chested, long legs, short legs.

You just started to get an idea that was an attractive body. And that was not an attractive body. I grew up believing that thin girls are attractive. That boys like attractive girls, and then that boys liking me meant that I had love. And so for me it played out like this.

Thin girls are attractive, boys like thin girls, and then if boys like you, me, then you are loved.  So my point continues to be that my body and your body, what we believe of them was taught to us, but I love this quote is the truth is that our bodies are just. Bodies.

This comes from Byron Katie. Oh, I just love this because it drives home the point that we get to choose whatever we want to think about our bodies and our bodies are just so beautifully created for us. And isn’t that what the Lord teaches us,  but it’s so hard to believe that. And so we’re going to set the Lord’s view of our body as crazy as it sounds.

We’re going to set it over to the side for just a moment, and I’m going to set it to the side because I know you all believe in your head that you’re made in the image and likeness of God. I also know that you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, but that’s not why you’re here. You believe it here, but you don’t believe it quite in your heart yet.

You don’t believe it about your body yet. You can’t view your body as beautiful as the Lord views it. There’s no pressure to ever feel that way about your body. And my point continues to be that the thoughts and the beliefs you have about your body were taught to you  because your body was created perfectly. And that bodies are just bodies. I’ll read it in just a moment as a quote from Byron Katie, who talks about the beauty and wonder of our bodies. 

I’m going to pause for a minute and you all know we’re not even talking scriptures and we’re not talking scripture right now because I know that you’re coming with the knowledge that your body is made in the image and likeness of the Lord and that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. And just like you, I knew it here and it made sense in my brain and I really believe the Lord.

But I just couldn’t believe it about myself. And so I’m not going to pressure you to do that at this point. I just want you to start understanding that what you believe was taught to you and there’s no pressure to change the way you feel right now. 

And you’re not wrong or not holy enough or not Catholic enough because you have some negative feelings about your body. So let me read this, that Byron Katie wrote. She said, bodies don’t think, care, or have any problems with themselves. They never beat themselves up or shame themselves. They simply try to keep themselves balanced and heal themselves. 

They’re entirely efficient, intelligent, and resourceful. Where there’s no thought. There’s no problem. Isn’t that amazing you guys? Our bodies are just trying to be efficient and heal and help us get through the day. The only thing that’s wrong with the body is because we have a thought that it should be different. 

Isn’t that interesting? The quote goes on to say this. It’s the story we believe. The story, right? That everyone’s taught us. It’s the story that we believe prior to investigation, which means prior to actually looking at, Whoa, do I want to keep this story? Is this working for me? 

It’s the story we believe prior to investigation that leaves us confused. All of you guys, you do feel confused because of the Lord’s truth. That you are a temple of the Holy Spirit, but it feels confusing because you don’t feel that. And it feels confusing because there’s conflicting messages. There’s what the Lord teaches us and then what everybody else taught us. 

She says, if I tell the story of my body. I believe that my body’s the problem and that if only my body changed this or that would change, I’d be happy. She said, the body’s never the problem. Our problem is always the thought that we innocently believe. And I want you to carry that. I want you to hang on to those words that you innocently believe because no one’s ever said pause.

Hey, Let’s look at the thoughts about your body. Did you know they’re optional? Did you know? That they’re not necessarily true. They’re just things that have been taught to you.That you’ve practiced believing over and over. And that’s why they feel really true. Do you want to keep doing that? And likely you’re thinking, no, I don’t. But is there a different way? Yeah, there is. 

So let me go back to my story. Through college, I maintained my weight and practiced that thinking over and over that you heard before. Thin girls are attractive. Boys like thin girls. Boys liking you means that you’re loved. Now, during this time, I did meet my husband. And I went to graduate school where I was the highest weight that I ever had been. And that is when my husband proposed to me. And that is how, when I put my glasses on, my husband loves my body. That’s part of the evidence that I see because I have that belief, there’s so many more details to my story, but I wanted to share that so that you can clearly see that what I believed about my body, what you believe about your body was taught to you first by the family and the culture where you lived and then at culture at large as you got older and then, whatever I believed, I continued to practice over and over,  and I want you to know that your brain is amazing at doing what it knows how to do. So when you do the same thing over and over, your brain just starts to think it’s true.  And that’s the best news ever,  because that means that you can change your brain.

We can retrain your brain  to believe new things. I know you’re like, mind is blown. Is that even possible? And I promise you, it is. I’m going to show you how to do that. And remember, the reason why your thoughts about your body feel 100 percent true is because you’ve practiced those thoughts so much that you’re wearing those glasses and you’re looking for all the evidence that it’s true. I can see in my story that I was wearing the glasses of being thin and getting love. Being thin is superior. Being thin gives you confidence. Being thin gives you everything and success that you want. Can you see that? And it was just  a story. 

So let’s start this journey to change your perception, your thoughts, your beliefs about your body. And I want to just make sense of why you believe what you believe. You believe what you believe because you were taught that and you continue to practice. Now, after that, we’re going to get clear on the effects of those beliefs  and how they’re affecting you and then how to change them. 

I do want to tell you that not all of what I was taught about my body was negative. There were positive things too. I was taught that I have beautiful eyes and beautiful lips. I was taught that I had nice hands. I was taught that I was strong.  

So let’s poke around your brain. And I’m going to have you list the positive things that you believe, or you were taught about your body and the negative things that you believe, or you were taught about your body. And then the second part of that is you get to poke around your brain a little bit and see, hey, how did I learn that? How did I even know that? For example, being told I have football shoulders. Where did I learn that? Who ever said that to me? Where was the first time that was ever said? Okay, before you do that though, a few things I want to tell you first of all, I want you to just start to separate you from your thoughts and your beliefs. Start to be an observer of your thoughts and your beliefs. So thoughts and beliefs are just sentences that are going through your head. For example, I have a barrel chest. I don’t have a waist. Oh, isn’t that interesting?

These are just thoughts. They’re not truths. They’re just thoughts. Your brain thinks they’re true right now because you’ve been practicing them for a long time. But start to notice, Ooh that’s a sentence that’s going through my head.  It’s a sentence. It’s just a sentence.

So try to get some distance between you and the thought. Be a neutral observer. Some helpful ways to do that is to say, I’m having the thought Or, I grew up believing the thought or I grew up believing the thought, I have a barrel chest, I have football shoulders, I have beautiful eyes, I have beautiful lips, I have long fingers.

Okay? A couple other things,  absolutely none of these sentences are   Isn’t that crazy? You guys think it is. Just because you believe it doesn’t mean that it actually is a fact.  I’m going to say that again. Just because you believe it doesn’t mean it is a fact. You could look at me and be like, wow, you have such a nice waist.

And I think I don’t really have a waist. Or you might say, wow, your shoulders are so awesome. Actually, I do like my shoulders now. You might be like, hey what do you mean? What’s wrong with your chest? You don’t have a barrel chest. You don’t have a muffin top. And I’d be like, yeah, I think I do. 

Isn’t that interesting? Because my thoughts about my body are what I believe in my head. Your thoughts about your body are what you believe in your head. But none of them are fact. The only thing that’s a fact is what can be proven in a court of law.  Isn’t that crazy? I just wanted to  offer that thought to you so you can recognize that although you believe it, I want you to start saying, I’m having the thought that blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And  that just creates that distance. You might look at my hands and think my hands are very ugly  and that’s fine, but I think my hands are beautiful. Because  that’s one of the thoughts that I chose to keep. Isn’t that funny?  

Okay,  if you go through  and you can’t exactly recall where you were taught that and your brain wants to say that’s just the way it is.  I have a muffin top  and that’s just the way it is.  Then I want you to recognize that you were taught that by society.  That just means that you believe conventional wisdom and conventional wisdom is that’s just the way it is.

We believe that there’s certain truths and some certain truths in society are helpful. For example, it is always nice to say thank you when someone gives you something or it’s polite to say please. So there are some societal norms that don’t mean that they’re true, but they have to be that way. I just want you to recognize that thought. If you say that’s just the way it is. That thought was likely taught to you likely by the culture.

If you don’t believe something that people have tried to teach you, like your husband’s no, honey, I think you are so beautiful. Don’t write it down because we’re dealing with your thoughts, not other people’s thoughts.  And finally,  I give you permission to love our Lord and know his word and know it is a hundred percent true and Yeah, not really believe it or to say that truth really hasn’t touched your heart or  Been integrated into the way that you feel about your body  That’s totally fine.

I give you permission to just say that. Oh gosh. I just don’t believe that about myself right now And that’s not your fault you. There’s nothing wrong with you. Remember, your thoughts are so ingrained and so powerful. And just like that quote from Byron Katie says, when they’re uninvestigated, we believe they’re a hundred percent true. 

So we really can’t believe that scripture at the same time that we have these thoughts  that aren’t from the Lord.  And once we do this work, once we clear out, Oh, this is what I was taught,  we can start to decide, is this what I want to keep? And once we do this work in these exercises, you will start to let go of what is not of God and what does not uplift you and what does not bring you life. 

And then you won’t be so distracted from what you know, the Lord’s truth is, and you’ll be able to hear his truth  and you’ll have an open heart. It’ll be fertile ground. You won’t be blocked or pulled by these competing thoughts. Isn’t that beautiful? So I really believe that if you’ve watched this video this far, the Lord is calling you to be free from the feelings that you have about your body because they’re blocking his voice.

And he wants your heart to be set free. He wants you to feel good about your body. He wants you to see you  As he sees you, this is a special invitation, a special calling. Finally, along the way, you might have some feelings like, Oh, I really shouldn’t feel this way about myself. I know God doesn’t want me to feel this way. It feels like really , shameful. And there’s a lot of judgment and you might feel guilt and you might just want to push it down and say, Oh I know I’m beautiful.

So I’m not even going to look at this.  I just want to say.  That it’s these things that are stealing your peace. These thoughts that aren’t from the Lord  are stealing your peace.  And our job is not to pretend like they’re not there. That doesn’t bring us closer to God.  What does bring us closer to God is to look at them and to allow them to be transformed into his thoughts. Second Corinthians 10 fives says, take captive your thoughts and align them with the Lord.  And that’s what we’re doing in this work is to recognize that we have thoughts that aren’t from the Lord.

And that doesn’t make us wrong. And it doesn’t make it bad. And it’s just where we are. And I promise you, you are safe to be honest. You are safe to look at this  and you guys know where honesty comes from, right? It’s one of the virtues of the Lord. And he’s saying here, my child steps into this. Let’s look at this. You’re safe with me. I love you so much. Thank you for doing this courageous work.  I promise you that he can heal whatever you bring to him. And so now let’s begin this work together. 

ADD a transition we’re going to be investigating. How those thoughts are affecting you. So sit back, listen to my example, and then I’m going to teach you how to do this for yourself. Okay. So I have the thought I have a barrel chest. 

So that means I put those glasses on and I could tell you, yeah, I do have a barrel chest. See that sports bras are too tight. See that red dress is really hard to zip. See that black and white shirt. Oh my gosh. I can’t even zip it up the side. I have a barrel chest. 

And if I really , keep those glasses on. I could look for all the evidence and just keep going and going and going. So when I have that thought I have a barrel chest. I feel masculine. I feel brutish. I don’t feel very feminine at all. I don’t feel delicate. I don’t feel attractive. It makes me feel very good. Well, Grish actually. 

And when I feel . Irish and unattractive. What do you start to do? As I start to notice all the other ways I’m unattractive. My chin hair. All the moles, the muffin top, my eyebrows are so unfeminine, all the extra hair on my body, all the ways in our own attractive way. And I started to withdraw. I don’t really want to be seen. I don’t feel attractive. 

I don’t put myself out there. When I’m coming from that place of I’m barrel chested, I’m feeling, oh, grish I just withdrew into myself. I feel very manly. Unattractive. What I don’t do is I don’t dress attractively. I don’t really spend time to like maybe groom a little bit more. I don’t dress in a way that’s really flattering to me when I’m feeling attractive. 

I just kinda put the comfortable pants on and the t-shirt. I don’t learn how to work with my body. So yeah, my chest, I do believe the circumference of my ribs is wider than. The majority of women’s clothes. But when I’m feeling I’m attractive, it’s not like I investigate, like how can I look flattering? How can I dress to accent, my best assets. 

And you can easily do that on YouTube. Again, I’m just feeling withdrawn and I just want to hide. And I certainly don’t act flirty or sexy. And so when I have the thought. So barrel chested, the result is, is that I continue to perpetuate that belief and I’m sort of imprisoned in that thought of being barrel chested. 

And I use that example so you can clearly see that it’s not my body. That’s the problem. The problem is my thought about being barrel chested having a wide circumference. And that’s even just a thought. What does that even mean? But when I’m making it mean I’m unattractive, I’m over shy, manly. That’s how I act. 

I don’t act flirty and sexy and I use that example because you guys are looking at me and you’re thinking she’s not an ogre. She’s not attractive and I don’t think I’m an ogre or unattractive, but if I get stuck in that thought, that is how I feel. 

And so I use it kind of as a silly example so that you can see how powerful our thoughts are.  And that the only problem that you’re having with your body right now is that you’re believing things that are taught to you. That isn’t feeling good. They’re not true. Their beliefs that you think are true. And you don’t feel good about them. And what’s so cool. 

And I’m going to teach you in this video, how to get really clear on the effects. Of what those thoughts are having on you. And so we’re going to pick one thought from your first exercise. I’m going to teach you to get clear on how that thought is affecting you. So to do this, we’re going to use a framework that is  called the self coaching model. 

The first thing is, you will choose a thought or a feeling that you want to use in the self coaching model. And that will give you clarity. On how this belief is affecting you. This second step then is to gain understanding and to practice some self-compassion. 

So, let me give you a brief overview of the self-coaching model. Circumstance is something that happens that can be proven in a court of law. It is a fact, the only reason why you have a positive or negative feeling about it is because you have a thought, which is that the sentences that are going through your brain. When you have a thought, it is biologically proven that you have narrow transmitters. That goes throughout your body. That changes the feeling inside your body, you experience an emotion inside your body. 

So, for example, I have the thought I’m barrel chested. I have that feeling that I’m not attractive.  From that feeling in that, in my case, feeling unattractive. I will do and not do certain things. So I’ll kind of hide, focus on all the ways that I’m unattractive. I won’t be flirty. I won’t investigate how  to dress to flatter myself. I won’t dress flatteringly, I’ll just hide. And then from that we get the results that are the results of our actions. Don’t worry  if your brain is really confused right now, I’m going to take you through another example. 

Example I hate my body, so if you have the thought. I hate my body and this came from a real life client of mine. She said, I hate my body. You’ll feel ashamed. And from that feeling of being ashamed, there’s things that you will do and not do. I like to list them in two different categories.  What she says she does, is she cries. She was short with her family. She wants to hide her buffers, which buffering is a term. That simply means that the feeling is so uncomfortable. 

We want to put distance between ourselves and the feeling. And so we do things so that we numb out. And that can be over drinking, over eating, maybe over scrolling. But in this case, she’s a woman who’s stressed, eats. She runs from her feelings. She’s also focusing on all the ways that she hates her body. 

I like to say that it’s called tornado thinking where we’re just stuck in that tornado. I hate my body. I hate my body. I hate my body. She says, what I don’t do is I don’t comfort myself. I don’t speak kindly to myself. I don’t pray. I don’t have a plan. What she and I talked about there was, she’s very aware that this is a common feeling for her. And since she hadn’t created a new thought or how to handle this feeling at this point in our coaching. She was like, and I don’t even know how to handle it. 

So she didn’t know how to comfort herself when she had it. She didn’t know, an alternate thought to think which you and I are going to get into. And she was not practicing  any life giving behaviors. She was just being very. Not kind to herself.  And so you guys look at those actions. If you’re crying, you’re hiding your stress, eating you’re running from your feelings. You’re focusing on all the ways you hate your body. What’s the result going to be? 

Yeah, you’re going to hate your can you clearly see our actions. Give us the result that we have.  Our actions are fueled by how we’re feeling. Our feelings are fueled by what we’re thinking. And that’s why it’s so important for us to watch those sentences. Going through our brain. 

So now, let’s do this for you. I’ll walk you through this. Pick the thought that you picked that you wanted to work on or the belief that you have and fill that into the thought segment. Pause this, if you need more time. Now before you move on, I want you to ask yourself, when do I have this thought? And your brain was to be like that all the time. Okay. I want you to think of a specific time. 

And if you are thinking about when I was getting dressed, be specific. Because if you were putting on sweat pants, you probably wouldn’t have had that thought. Was it putting on a certain pair of pants? Was it putting on a certain shirt, or a specific skirt? Was it putting it on or was it looking in the mirror? Try to get as specific as you can. 

That can be proven in a court of law where somebody would say yes, she was looking in the mirror. Okay, pause if you need more time. And when you have that thought, say it to yourself a couple times. Let’s say that thought to yourself. A couple of times let’s use my client’s example here. I hate my body.  Hey, my body. What’s the thought  or the belief that you want to work on here? 

Say it to yourself several times and notice the feeling that comes up for you in your body. Okay, now, when you’re feeling that, what are the things that you do? What are the things that you don’t do? Pause and write that list out. Once you’ve written out your list of the things that you do and you don’t do. 

Can you clearly see what the result is? And the result will be. Related to your thoughts. So if your thoughts are. I’m barrel chested. I don’t have a waste. I hate my body. It will be continuing to believe those things. Now here’s where I want you to pause, friends, exercise. Number two is all about understanding and self-compassion. Well, what you have just done is so amazing and painful.

Can you clearly see now how that thought is affecting you. And your brain thinks I need a different body to think a different thought. And I am telling you a hundred percent. That is not true. You get to keep the precious, beautiful body that you have.

And although you may not think it’s precious and beautiful. You get to keep that body. And get to think differently. We’re not doing that yet. That’s it, right now, we’re just getting very clear on how to think. Is it affecting you? And you get to decide. 

Do I want to keep it or not, but not yet. How that thought is affecting you. And so the next piece is to say, oh, that feels horrible. And to just feel your feelings. And it just make sense of it. You guys, aren’t going to be stuck here forever, but I do believe this is a skill called self-compassion. That it’s really important for you to cultivate not only in this area of your life, but any other point, anytime that you’re feeling heavy and burdened. I want you to just pause and care for the woman who is feeling those feelings right now. 

We’re just going to help her understand and make sense of this. There are two things that I like to do. The first one is I like to ask my clients. When was the first time you remember feeling that way? And you guys heard my story. I remember feeling bigger than the other girls, different then I was six. When was the first time you felt that? And then I want you to imagine that you’re with her, that younger version of you imagined her. 

You remember exactly what she looks like. You remember exactly what she’s wearing. You know exactly where she is. And I want you to be that big sister or that aunt and I want you to pull her up on your lap. And I want you to say everything that you need, somebody to say to you at that point. 

You needed somebody to say, oh my gosh, Denise. Your grandma knows you so well. She met nothing. That you had a different body than your cousin. Your cousin’s really beautiful to you guys are such good friends. Aren’t you? Your cousin loves you so much too. I think you’re beautiful. Your eyes. I could get lost in them. Denise, you are so sweet. You’re going to look so beautiful in that dress. I can’t wait to see you on it.

And then she might talk back and say some things to you, and you can say what you needed to hear then as well. The woman I was working with, who used the example of, I hate my body. She said what she would say to herself. What she needed to hear was there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you.  There’s nothing wrong with the way God made you. You’re beautiful.  You’re so precious to me. I love every piece of you.  I won’t forget you.  You matter to me.  I see you. 

I love you. Stay here. You’re safe. I’ll never forget you. And I’m going to give you permission to stay in that loving embrace.  As long as you need to. Stay there as long as you need. Until you hear what you need to hear.

With no pressure to think or feel a certain way. No pressure to judge yourself that you should or shouldn’t feel that way. To beat yourself. Bloody with scripture. No, there’s a wounded part of you or hurt part of you. That just needs to be seen and held and known. And this is exactly how the Lord heals us. When we feel his tenderness, his softness. When we feel. Held. And safe. And seen and known and cherished and wanted. 

We know that he is speaking to us. I just love that. That’s what he wants you to feel. And you’re going to stay there as long as you want until you feel ready to move on. We move on.  That’s when we get to say, hey, that thought that was swimming through your brain. Is that from the Lord? Is it? And then you get to ask yourself. Is this thought helping me? Is it serving me? 

And you also get to say, what would I be without that thought? Who would I be without that thought? If I literally didn’t have the ability to think. I hate my body. What would I do? Often when I ask that question, women say they would feel free. They would feel relief and that’s how, you know, it’s the thought that’s been consuming your brain and that’s been so burdensome and heavy to you.

And I really believe that that scripture says that  all you who labor something, something, something take my yolk. It’s light. I believe that what the Lord is saying is all of you who are just so labored by our thoughts. 

I think it’s one of the ways that he’s saying. Your lives are so burdensome. They are so heavy because of your thoughts. Take my yoke, it’s light. Let’s start thinking, according to my truth.  Take on my beliefs. And right now you guys, that might feel like a huge leap. 

And that’s fine. We’re going to come up right beside you. And that part of you. That’s where you are and we’re going to slowly by slowly walk forward. And transforming your thoughts and your beliefs about your body. So stay here as long as you need to, to comfort yourself. And when you’re ready, create new beliefs, which is the key to you, feeling better about your body.

ADD a transition if you think it’s needed are now clear that the thoughts that you have about your body were taught to you. And how those thoughts that you have come to believe because you’ve practiced them over and over are now affecting you. Now you have the choice to keep those thoughts or to change them? So since you’re still here. I’m guessing that you are ready to start thinking different thoughts about your body. Okay. Remember that everything you think about your body has been taught to you. Until now, and maybe even still now you believe it’s absolutely true. But the only truth that we have to believe as Catholics is what the Lord teaches us. All of the rest is optional. Unless it can be proven in a court of law. It’s just optional.  So the thoughts that you have about your body. And truthfully, every other thought you have  is a hundred percent created by you.  Which should be the best news that you’ve ever heard, because you are the one that can retrain your brain. It’s just no one’s ever taught you how to do that. 

Which is what we’re doing here so that you can have a different thought and you can have a different truth that is aligned with the Lord. I remember second Corinthians ten five, take captive your thoughts and align them with the Lord. And that’s what you just did. You saw the sentences going through your head. 

You took them captive. You’re now clear on how they’re affecting you. And we’re going to start moving them towards what the Lord teaches us.  Even though I won’t be one big step. It might take several weeks or even months to get you to believe what he says is true. And that’s okay. You have a human brain and our human brains have a long way sometimes to catch up with the Lord.  I want you to know this is only important. 

If you want to feel better.  This is only important. If you want to have different results. If you want to start treating yourself differently, if you want to start showing up in the bedroom with your husband differently, if you want to start feeling sexier, if you want to start being able to give all of yourself intimately and not be consumed by a held back. By your thoughts about your body?  This is only important. If you want your life to change, to be free of these thoughts that feel imprisoning to be free of these thoughts that are holding you back. To be free of these thoughts that seem to be keeping you from having the life that you want by keeping you feeling self-conscious by  keeping you wanting to hide. 

By keeping you neglecting your needs. By keeping you having that mean girl inside you. Being super loud. Let’s change that. Let’s start being sweet. Let’s start speaking tenderly to ourselves. Let’s start treating ourselves the way the Lord would. And let’s also start speaking to ourselves in the words of the Lord, would. You see, I believe this is not a selfish endeavor at all. I believe second to loving the Lord, our number one job on this earth. Is to take care of the human being that he created us as.  And that doesn’t mean that we do that at the expense of our vocation. We don’t do that at the expense  or that we neglect other people, but it does say, oh my gosh, Lord, you created me.  You love me this much. And we start to walk in the Lord’s will and how we treat ourselves and how we talk to ourselves.  I like to call this authentic self care. It’s not what the world teaches. 

We’re not talking about extravagance. We’re not talking about luxury. We’re not talking about expenses. I’m not saying a pedicure and manicure. Isn’t great. And a massage. Isn’t great. And a vacation. Isn’t great. But I’m talking about ordinary everyday things. Speaking kindly to yourself, dressing yourself in a way that makes you feel good in flattering clothes, they don’t have to be expensive clothes. 

You can get some awesome stuff at a thrift store. You can watch some free YouTubes and learn how to flatter the body that you’re living in.  Whether you’re going out in public, whether you’re going to work, whether you’re staying at home or whether you’re in the bedroom.  You can feel confident. You can feel flirty. You can feel sexy. You can feel comfortable in your own skin. Right now, because the only thing standing in the way of you feeling that way.  And the way you feel now. Is a thought that you’re thinking. 

Because remember. All of the feelings that we have. Come from the thoughts that we’re thinking. And if we want to feel confident and flirty and sexy and comfortable. Then we have to cultivate thoughts. That creates that feeling. It’s a very, very simple process. We’re going to learn how to think on purpose. To create new thoughts and guess what a thought is that you practice over and over and over and over and over. Do you put those glasses on and it becomes a new belief.  And the belief that you start looking for all the evidence and it makes it true to you.

So to create new thoughts is just very, very simple. You already know the current thought that’s creating your current pattern in the way that you think the second thing is, you get to decide what you want to think and feel instead. By creating a new thought and we’re going to do that in just a moment. Then I’ve got a process where you’ll be practicing the new thought for 30 days. And I’ll even show you how to progress that, that it could go. 

Even beyond that and while you’re creating this new thought for 30 days, you’ll be rehearsing it, practicing it and believing ahead of time.  Isn’t that so cool that you will ultimately become that person. With that thought you will see your life transform. It’s going to be. Amazing. So let’s talk about the creation process. First, there’s two things that you need to remember about creating a new thought. 

The first one is that you need to believe it. And it needs to feel better than what you’re feeling. And I’m sure that that will be very simple for the majority of you. If you’re feeling very heavy about your thoughts. When we talk about believing something new. There’s a process really to believing it. And so the better that new thought is creating that new thought, the easier you will have in believing it. So you can’t just say I love my body. 

Well, that’s probably not even close to true. The idea is that when you completely believe it, you will create those results. That reflects that belief. So remember when I practice the thought I’m barrel chested, I’m barrel chest, and I felt unattractive. And I looked for all the ways that I was unattractive from my chin hair, to my extra hair, to all the moles. And I wanted to hide. Well, by practicing a new thought of. I’m well proportioned or I know how to dress. 

So I look amazing. That thought was exciting. I felt attractive. And when I feel attractive and I feel excited, I look for ways and teach myself how to dress in a way that flatters my body. And so whatever your thought is, the results and the way that you’re living will reflect your belief. If you said, I hate my body. You’re likely not taking care of your body. That mean girl is criticizing you all darn day long. And so the result is you continue to hate your body.  

But if you start saying to yourself,  It’s possible to see the good things in my body. I feel better than I hate myself. It’s possible to see the good things in my body. That feels hopeful.  And from a place of hope.  You start to notice.  Positive things about your body.  You start treating yourself nicely.  You start talking to yourself in a more kind voice. 

You’re not shaming and criticizing and wanting to hide. You’re feeling hope. It’s possible to see. The positive things about my body. Your result then is that you do start to see the positive things about your body. You can clearly see that you or whomever has the same darn body, but with a different thought, we treat ourselves differently are a couple different ways that you can create new thoughts. The first one is using a ladder method. I like to put it at the bottom. The ultimate goal, the ultimate would be, I love my body. And then you start with where you are. I hate my body, and this is just that example. 

Notice how this goes from easier to believe to more difficult. So sometimes when we try to jump from like, I hate my body to, I love my body. We can’t even come close to believing it. So it actually feels kind of negative.  So notice that I bridged the current thought to the new thought. So believing in going from this thought process can be quick. Or it can take several months. So coming up with this new thought, I just want you to know as a skill, which is great because a skill is something that doesn’t feel comfortable at first. 

It takes a while to learn it, but the more you practice it, the better and better you get.  Okay. So that’s one method you could use to come up with a new thought is using  a ladder thought, and you’re just going to pick one thought that you want to believe. And then as you believe it, you can just keep progressing. Another way that you can do it is to add words to your current thoughts. 

So for thought you don’t believe yet, but you want to believe, like, for example, you say your thought that you want to believe is I. I feel so good about my body. So you could use, add some words to that. Like I’m willing to believe that I feel so good about my body. I’m willing to learn how to feel so good about my body. I’m open to the idea of feeling so good about my body. It’s possible that someday I’ll feel so good about my body. Some day I will feel so good about my body. 

So you could practice a belief like that. And then I like this one. Adding words to a current thought to just soften it. So, I hate how  my thighs rub together and that’s okay. I’m thinking about it. My thighs rub together. And that is a skill and softening it, but also helps you become more of an observer. And notice that it’s just a thought. And with no pressure to move out of it.

I just love that whole concept of. And that’s okay. I’m having a hard time. Being naked with my husband and that’s okay. Just add any thought causing you pain and that just softens it a bit. It’s a bit. And sometimes you can ask some questions that are inspired by Byron Katie.  How has the opposite true or true? So if you said I hate my body. Well, how is the opposite? I love my body, true or true. And, you know, I would really stretch you to believe that it actually is true that you love your body because right now you don’t like the way you’re talking to it.  And you want to learn how to be kinder to it. Right. 

How is that even true? I want to learn how to be kind to my body. Who would you be without this thought? We’ve already talked about that. What would you be thinking? And I also like this concept. I might be wrong about hating my body. I might be wrong about that. Cause there’s some pretty great things. I love my body. It’s just fun to noodle around with these thoughts. So come up with a thought that you want to believe that you want to start. Making part of who you are, part of the beliefs that you have about your body and you guys, you can’t get this wrong. 

This is all experimentation. During the 30 day practice, if you choose to take that challenge.  You can change it at any time. And so what we do is  come up with a new thought that you want to create. Ask yourself. How would this thought feel? To think and believe it. If you believed this thought, what actions would you take that you aren’t taking now? Not fun.

What result will you have from believing this new thought? That’s super fun. What results would you have from believing this new thought?  Why don’t you believe this thought now? What do you believe in instead? And so these are just some ways that you can get really clear. And sort of prime the pump as you create these new thoughts and go into this 30 day challenge. And the 30 day challenge is  exercise. Number four. You’ll print up 30 of these sheets . You’ll write down the sentence that you want to believe. And then as you visualize yourself living that way, describe it here. I’m learning to see the positive things about my body.

Describe that there. So I’m learning to see the positive things about my body. Maybe, you write down three positive things about your body in the morning and at night.  Maybe you start to speak kindly to yourself, any details about a woman who believes that she sees the positive things about her body, just right. 

Different aspects. I challenge you  to write different things every day. So you can start to get a detailed picture of what a woman who believes this. It’s like, how does she treat herself? How does she go through her day? Then reread the thought that you want to believe in the first statement and how does it feel when you think that today? And it might feel possible. It also might feel very untrue. And so then the next question is why do you feel that what’s your brain coming up with? What are the conflicting sentences? 

So we’re going to let your brain tell us, well, why do you not believe that right now? And then for each of those conflicting sentences, I want you to come up with an alternate thought. So if you think so, ugh. I’m just a hot mess.

Come up with an alternate thought. Hey, we’re trying. We’re willing to try and then take massive action. That would counter that belief that I’m a hot mess. You know what? We’re not a hot mess. We’re going to start walking in 10 minutes. To show our bodies that we appreciate them. I’m going to start writing down five things I appreciate about my body at night. And post it somewhere so I can remind myself of the things that I appreciate about my body. 

Massive action changes our gang. And then the final thing that you’ll do is write a note to yourself. From your future self from the woman who already believes that new thought, write a note to say, Hey, sweetie. You’re doing great. I see. It’s hard. You’ve been living this way for years. If not decades. I’m here for you. I promise you, you can be free from this thought. 

Just keep working. You’re going to see how spicy you are in the bedroom. You’re going to feel how free you are in public. You’re going to be able to dress differently. It’s time for you to be free to see how beautiful you are. I see it. This is your future. You’re saying that. 

And amazing. So do that for 30 days. So you can start to love your body. And remember these thoughts, every thought is a hundred percent optional. You only have a positive or negative feeling  about something because you’re having a thought about it. I want you to dedicate yourself. To this simple practice for 30 days. So that you can experience feeling comfortable in your own skin. All right, everybody have a blessed day and enjoy walking with Lord in his, his vision of you. Take care.  

Thank you for listening.