Denise
Okay. Kathy, tell me a little bit about you, who you are and a little bit about your history with food and weight.

Kathy
I was a 10 pound baby. So it started there, a very large baby. And, I experienced a lot of loss in my family. My mother died when I was four years old. There were four of us. My grandparents were wonderful and helped. But I learned that food was a comfort early on.

By the time I was 18, my father, who never, ever, ever, weight shamed me ever in my entire life. He said to me, your mom, cause he remarried, and I have, I had the most wonderful stepmother. She was my mother, really because I didn’t know my biological mother very well because I was four when she passed away. But my stepmother loved me unconditionally. She was an amazing woman. And when I turned 18, my dad said to me, I need your help. Your mom’s got high blood pressure. Would you please go to Weight Watchers with her? She needs to lose weight. It would be better if she did it with someone. Would you be willing to do it?

So I was doing a favor to my mom, even though my dad knew I needed to lose weight, but he said it in such a beautiful way. My parents were amazing people. I learned about praying and faith and strength and all of that from my parents, a beautiful example. Since I was 18 years old, that’s when my lose weight, gain the weight back journey started because I did lose weight.

I lost it quickly. It was easy. I kept it off for a while and then life happened and I had a baby and then I gained all this weight and then, I had hypertension during my pregnancy and then I lost a bunch of weight. I was at a great, healthy weight for my second baby. I tried to keep it off after I had the baby.

I was a working mom. I worked 50, 55 hours a week. I had two kids. I was a busy person and it was hard for me to keep the weight off. So it was this lose the weight, gain the weight journey was really my life. I think I was on Instagram and I saw something of yours pop up and I was intrigued by it.

I was thinking, why not? At that moment. I was feeling hopeless when I first saw, it was probably September, it didn’t take me long once I did a little bit of research about you and listen to a podcast or two of yours, or something that he had to do at 63 Days Surrendered, I realized I was not in a good place.

Two years prior, I lost 63 pounds, and over the last recent two years, I had gained almost 40 pounds back. And I knew that it was all this binge eating at night ’cause I eat pretty healthy during the day, but it was all at night. Everything was when I was alone and when I was tired and when I felt lonely or bored or stressed or whatever, I was just eat, eat, eating.

And it was giving me that feeling of hopelessness. When your program came up and I related so much to you, cause you were eating, like you were sneak eating. That’s what I would do. And I’m currently living by myself. I don’t have anyone living with me right now, but it’s all that nighttime eating I put on all this weight and I was so disgusted with myself.

And lots of mean girl voices in my head. And I thought surrender, I’m going to surrender this to God. God cares about my weight problems. It was this new idea and it was so novel and I really believe in prayer. And so I was like, I’m going to give it a shot. That’s how I got introduced to you, but I felt like I connected with you.

In that first video or two that I saw and I thought, maybe she can help me, she’s got God, she’s working through God to do this, I’m going to give this a shot. The fact that you were Catholic. made a big difference to me too. I believe in prayer but I never prayed to God about help me lose weight. I just thought that that was not something that I should be bothering God with. 

Denise
So when I ask you before starting 63 Surrendered, what were your concerns about starting a weight loss program? Part of them was, does God even really care? 

Kathy
Exactly. There are a lot of problems in this world, and my weight is not something God needs to be concerned about. That was my thought process about it. But that hopelessness was there. And that, well maybe, maybe this will work.

Cause I know how to lose weight. I don’t know how to keep the weight off. That’s something that I’m working on. You’ve taught me a lot about a lot of things. I have so many strategies now in two and a half months, the things that I do now that are so different from what I did for 63 days, or actually it’s more now because I’m on the, celebrate not sabotage.

I’m doing that as well right now. So I’m actually not going to gain any weight this holiday season. Let’s see how that works. 

Denise
So for everybody who’s listening, you did the 63 surrendered. And then you said, wait a second. Now I want support over the holidays and we’re recording this and the third week of celebrating our sabotage. So when you were back doing 63 Surrendered, what were some of your biggest surprises during the challenge?

Kathy
I have two surprises that I think. The first one is, you did not really talk about the foods that you should eat. Here’s how many calories you should have. These are the green foods. These are the orange foods. Like there was none of that. You said, eat the foods that you feel good about. And I was like, what? That was a shock for me. And so I was like, the foods I like.

I like to have tacos, and then I started coming up with foods that I haven’t eaten in a while every time I tried to lose weight, it was about restriction, which, I now know is the reason why I can’t keep it off.

And so that was a surprise. Number one was that. Don’t eat it because you should eat it. Eat it because you want to eat it. And I think on one of your coaching calls, I heard you say, Oh, I looked at my plan and I saw that I was having this for lunch and I was so excited. And I thought, Oh, that’s the way I should think about this.

What would I be excited about? I like to cook, I’m not a great cook, but I can follow a recipe and I’d love to try new recipes and so I started going through my binder with all these recipes. What haven’t I cooked in a while that I really like. And so, I’ve been eating foods that I enjoy eating.

So that was a big surprise for me because my mentality was I should eat this, I should eat this. So you eat it if you want to eat it and if you feel good about what you’re eating. So that was surprise number one. And then the other surprise for me is that my most difficult time every day is the after dinner, evening time.

And, I always have the TV on, or I’ll have the radio on, I don’t like it to be quiet in my house. I, how I am, even when I’m reading and I love to read, I’ll have something on in the background. Because I’ve been so into an observer of my thoughts, I’m observing my actions. So all those things you taught me, here’s the surprise.

I like the silence now because when it’s silent, And when I’m still, I can listen. I can listen to God and what is he telling me? What is his will for me? When I’ve had those moments where I’ve had some kind of stress happen to me during the day, and I’m worried about something, typically, it’s a grandchild that’s sick or a daughter.

My daughter had a lumbar puncture recently and I’m waiting for the results and she’s got an issue with her optic nerve in her eye and things like that. And then I want to eat. I know my brain is telling me if you eat, you’ll be comforted. It’ll soothe you, whatever. But I’ve learned that a calm brain doesn’t use food. That was something you taught me. And so I’m like, what is going on? So I’m just processing my thoughts. And now when it’s silent, I can hear God. And my relationship with God, it’s infinitely better than it was. And I would consider having a good relationship with God.

But the silence is where I listen. And I learned that it’s okay when it’s silent. It’s a good thing. And I listened to myself now. I’m like, go to sleep. You don’t need to eat anymore. know, I used to look at the time. It’s too early for me to go to sleep. And now it’s Nope, my body’s telling me it doesn’t matter if it’s eight 45 at night.

It’s my body telling me I’m tired. I should go to sleep. But then I don’t need it because I’m going to sleep and I fall asleep and I’m sleeping great. So when I eat a lot at night, especially before when I was feeling hopeless, it was that cycle where I would eat so much I would make myself sick, but I couldn’t stop and then I got a terrible night’s sleep.

And then my digestion was off and I felt terrible. So that’s the cycle, I’ve learned that, that was my other big surprise is that my relationship with God has improved and I’m okay with that silence. In fact, I crave it. Sometimes I’m looking forward during the day.

I’m retired and I watch grandchildren some of the time, but there are days when the day is mine to make it whatever I want. And I’ll just go out on my patio and listen to the birds and look at the trees and just be and I journal sometimes but sometimes I don’t even journal.

I’ll just sit in and just enjoy that quiet time. So that was a big surprise for me and such a gift. So thank you because you got me to that place where I could listen to God and what he wants from me. 

Denise
Well, for the people who are listening, the thing I like to tell women is that a calm brain does not eat. So I wanted to leave that little nugget with anyone who might be listening. But also for the woman who’s listening who’s like, Oh my gosh, yes, I’m so in that evening cycle of E E E and then I feel sick and E E E and how I feel sick. And I know I didn’t ask you this question before, but what would you tell her?

Like, how did you, how did this challenge help get you out of that cycle? 

Kathy
It was a lot of things. It wasn’t just one thing. I kind of did bullet points. I think one time you had asked in a coaching call, what are your silent miracles that have happened to you since you started?

And so I started, just writing them down. In fact, I have this little binder. It’s a surrender and it’s a big messy thing. It’s not really super organized, but I keep everything there because when I think pops into my head, I just want to be able to read it again. And I started going okay, these are all these really important things. But the 3 big things that I think have been the impetus or the reason why I’m changing and I’m growing and I’m learning and I’m hopeful that I can lose weight and be healthy and not gain it back because that’s been, that’s my MO. But I think the three things are the surrender prayer and that whole relationship with God thing is huge.

It’s so comforting for me to say the surrender prayer because I have worries and struggles and I can just tell the Lord to take care of it. And so, I have a prayer card in my binder. It’s Jesus as the good shepherd. So these little sheep around him and he’s there and that, and I have the surrender prayer on the top and on the bottom.

I look at that picture when I say the surrender prayer. And then the tweak that I did to it is at that moment where I’m starting to have that chaotic tornado thinking in the evening I tell myself in the how am I going to take care of myself today, part of what I do every day. I say the first part with my breath in, and then I exhale, take care of everything.

So I’m saying it, not necessarily 10 times, but I know that I’m about to go into crazy mode, like, what food can I eat? And I don’t have junk food in my house. I really don’t. It’s just an overeating period. Like it doesn’t matter what I’m eating. I just want to eat. And I know now it’s to soothe me and to comfort me.

And so now I’m like, wait a minute what am I thinking? And then you taught me, you can have a thought, And you’re not responsible for that first thought that you have, but you are responsible for the second thought. And then your actions, you’re always responsible for your actions.

So I’m having this thought and I’m like, I need to eat another bag of popcorn. Like I’ll have a hundred calorie popcorn as a snack. It’s one of my favorite things to eat. And then while I’m eating it, I’m thinking about, oh, this isn’t enough I’m going to have another bag. And I’m like. No, you don’t need to think that.

Like, why are you thinking that you don’t need another? So it’s that second thought that tells me I don’t need to do that. Like what’s going on in my brain. And then I’m like, okay, Susan hasn’t gotten her results back from the doctor. Why hasn’t someone called her? Then I’m processing what is going on in my brain.

It’s like another bag of popcorn is not going to help Susan get her results any quicker. And so that’s not going to help me, what will help me give it to God, , surrender it to God. Those are the kinds of things that I do. I’ll have a cup of herbal tea because a nice hot warm cup of tea, it’s decaffeinated, isn’t going to affect my sleep.

It’s comforting to me. It’s a little bit of a hug for me. It fills me up to have tea. And that’s another thought that I do. And sometimes I’m hungry. Then I look through what I ate that day and I’m like, I don’t think I had enough protein today. Oh, I just learned I didn’t have enough protein, so tomorrow I better put more protein in my diet.

So it’s just observing myself, thinking about my thoughts, and what can I do differently? The way that I was doing it before isn’t helping me. It was making me sick. It was making me feel hopeless. You reminded all of us in the group that God loves us and he cares about us and he would never speak to us in a mean way or harmful way.

So when I’d have these thoughts about myself that are mean girl thoughts, I would just say, that’s not from God. You need to turn to God. What would God say to me? That idea that He would be nurturing me. He would be comforting me. What would be comforting? A cup of herbal tea would be comforting, that’s kind of that thought process relationship with God 

That was another big one. I have your quote about the second Corinthians, aligning your thoughts with the Lord. I thought that was just genius. I put it on the top of all my Surrender Novena things. Take captive your thoughts and unwind them with the Lord.

Because I almost want to do something that’s framed where I have it in my house. It was so helpful to me. I should always be doing things that honor God and in his will for me. And so that was just the perfect quote. And obviously I’ve read that quote before, but I never understood it the way you taught me to understand it. So that is just a tremendous, tremendous blessing. 

Denise
Yeah. Kathy, again, for the people listening, second Corinthians 10 five days, take captive your thoughts and align them with the Lord, which assumes that not all of our thoughts are already going to be aligned with the Lord because we are human.

I love that you aren’t condemning yourself when your thoughts aren’t aligned with him, but you do know now how to see his truth. That’s because of your work and your attention to this. 

Kathy
I think the last kind of key point for me is I really started this with this idea that I didn’t want food to control me.

I felt so out of control mostly in the evenings. I was tired of that idea that I was obsessed with food, constantly thinking about food. Don’t get me wrong. I think food is to enjoy and there’s nothing better. But when you were doing the things that I was doing, that binge eating at night, I knew it was wrong.

I felt ashamed about it. Would never do that in front of another person ever. This was always done privately. When I was raising my family, it was my husband and I and the two kids and the dogs and whatever. I would never eat like that in front of anybody. It was when people were all in bed sleeping.

And now that my kids are grown and out of the house. I’m by myself. It could happen all during the day, but for some reason, I’m okay during the day. It’s just that evening time for me, but my relationship with food has changed and I’m on this journey, it’s not like it’s great every day because I’m learning.

But, I have days where I am doing great and I feel very in control. And then I’ve had days where I’m struggling and usually there’s some kind of stressful thing that’s happening or I feel overwhelmed about something. I’m doing a much better job of figuring out what exactly is going on.

Why am I doing this? Cause there is always a reason. I can see things are changing. I’m feeling hopeful about it. That’s going to continue the longer I am on this journey, and I’m not going to be obsessed with getting on the scale every day, it’s not that I need to lose this much weight, and I’m figuring out how long it will take me to get to this number.

It’s not about that anymore. It’s about me feeling good about myself every day, me feeling healthier, me having energy, those kinds of things. So that’s a change that I don’t, I don’t think I’ve ever had that in any other weight loss program. And so time will tell if this is something that will, you know, that I continue to do.

And I think it will, because once you learn something, you can’t unlearn it, right? You know it. Once you’re aware of it, you can’t be unaware, right? So now it’s just going to be a matter of me being consistent. 

Denise
Well, your relationship with the Lord has deepened, but I also hear you saying your relationship with yourself, your relationship with how you care for yourself, that you’re not turning to food for comfort.

You’re checking in and actually taking care of your emotional needs and your relationship with food is changing. So you’re allowing yourself to enjoy food And not depriving yourself and you’re recognizing when, oh my gosh, you still might have food thoughts and really what’s underneath those food thoughts.

Kathy
Absolutely. Exactly. So it’s a lot that I’ve learned in a short period of time. So thank you so much. Like I’m so grateful for you. You are God sent for me. 

Denise
But this was the Lord. Truly his idea was to create this challenge and make it very simple and doable. So people could actually do it day after day and learn a new way of relating to weight loss. And so you’ve mentioned so many things. Are there any other highlights or results from your experience that you wanted to share?

Kathy
I think I’ve hit all of it. 

Denise
And I know that people listening want to know about your actual weight loss. 

Kathy
So I have lost, I actually went to the doctor today, just an annual visit today. So I got weighed today and so, but I did weigh myself when I was in the 63 day challenge thing.

So it’s been about a little less than two and a half months, and I have lost 14 pounds. Wow. So, yeah, so I, wow. I’m trying to not make that the goal or the, but it’s like the blessing of it, you know. Amazing. Okay. Yeah. I mean, I started this because it was weight loss with the Holy Spirit.

And I did want to lose weight. That was the plan was to lose weight. I am thrilled that I’ve lost weight because I feel better, not because of the number. And I would love to get to the weight when I had originally lost that 63, love to get back to that weight.

But that is not my goal. My goal is to just live each day, surrendering to God, asking God what he wants for me and for me to just be healthy. I just want to feel like I have energy. I want to be there for my grandkids. I want to be there. I’m very involved in a Catholic nonprofit. I’m a board member and our board is getting smaller.

And so all of us are taking on more and I want to be there for that. Like it’s important to me to do that work. And I volunteer at my church. I volunteer at school and I want to have the energy to do all those things. So I know that if I take good care of myself and my body, whether it’s spiritually, emotionally, physically, , all those ways, That I’m gonna be able to do those things 

I didn’t start out that way. I started out going, I want to lose weight. I want to get back to that. Now the focus is more about taking care of myself, nurture myself. God loves me. What does God want for me? I know he wants what’s best. So that’s pretty cool. 

Denise
I mean, I can feel your energy right now. It feels like at this point, you have no doubt that you’ll be able to maintain this energy and continue to be there for your grandkids and all of the other things the Lord is calling you to. How was your energy before you started 63 Surrendered? 

Kathy
I was not in a good place back in September. I think I was beating myself up because every day I would be like, okay, today you’re gonna, you’re not going to eat bad foods. You know, that would be something I would say to myself. And then, if I had something bad, I threw in the towel and I was so mad at myself and so disgusted with myself and it was negative and it wasn’t good.

And I don’t, I may have a moment like that. I think in the whole time that I’ve started the two and a half months, I actually went back and looked. How many days did I kind of lose it and went off like I had to surrender a lot of food and it was really out of all those days it was only about four or five days where I didn’t do what I had set out to do.

But before it was every night or almost every night I was doing it. So, that’s such a huge transformation for me right there. It’s been an amazing journey and I know that I’m going to be on this journey the rest of my life and I feel good about that. It’s where I need to be.

So, yeah, big, big changes for me and exciting. 

Denise
I remember you sharing on a coaching call one time that you noticed that you only over ate what four or five times during the 63 days. And prior to that, I recall you said it was. How many times a week that you’d be overeating? 

Kathy
I never thought about it before, but when I started to really think about it, it was probably, realistically, it was probably about five times a week. I was having a problem about five times a week. So that’s tremendous.

Denise
So if you could go back and talk to yourself before joining the challenge, what advice would you give yourself? 

Kathy
Kathy, you have an opportunity to get closer to our Lord, improve your relationship with him, and take such good care of yourself, too. This is going to help you learn about yourself and not let you overeat or let food control you.

That’s how I feel. Like, that’s my biggest two things that I’ve feeling so happy now that I have done it and I know, and I’m on the journey. 

Denise
Yeah, I think that’s one of the things that I want women to know is that the challenge is just the beginning of the rest of your life where you can feel free from feeling controlled and confused by food, using food for comfort and really get to your healthy weight because you’ve learned to truly take care of your own needs and nurture yourself and care for yourself and talk to yourself the way that the Lord would.

Kathy
You know, what I would say to a friend or a family member that I love to help them, to soothe them. I was not talking to myself. And now I feel like I do a much better job of it. So, I know that I have work to do in that area, but we all do. We all do. 

Denise
And so to the woman who’s listening to this, who’s unsure about joining 63 surrendered and truthfully, she’s unsure if she will be able to follow through or if this is going to be something that she’s just going to start and stop again. What would you say to her? 

Kathy
Yeah. So that was me. I mean, that was, you were describing who I was before I did this. Is it something I’m going to start and be successful and then I’m going to stop and gain all my weight back or and not feel good about myself. What I would say to that person is this program is so much more than just about losing weight. It’s an opportunity for you to get a deeper relationship with God to help yourself, to nurture yourself, to help yourself grow. 

And you will grow and you will learn whatever you are open to learning. And so be open to learning and give it a try. That’s what I would say to someone who’s thinking. 

Denise
You know, anytime the Lord has invited me to something that I’m like, really, I’m not sure about that. I always hear him say, there’s something in it for you. Just trust me. I’ve got something in this for you. And in my brain, it doesn’t make any sense, but I’m like, okay. I mean, if you said so, Kathy, I just cannot thank you enough for your time and taking the time to talk to me and then also reflect on your journey and just your continued trust.

Kathy
Well, thank you. Keep doing the work you’re doing. It’s beautiful and I look forward to each day, especially with the holidays like this week. I have quite a few things going on this week. Holiday related kinds of things. Having a plan and it’s just wonderful to do that.

Like I never really, it’s simple, but it works. And so it’s just great that I have someone that I can get on zoom and listen to a couple of days a week, get on slack anytime 24/7 and listen to what other people are experiencing or what helped them or whatever. That’s been a real support for me. So I appreciate that. 

Thank you for the work that you do. I’m looking forward to each day that I’m with you on this journey. 

Denise
Thanks Kathy.

If weight loss has felt hard for you and you feel like you have tried absolutely everything, take heart. There is one thing that you haven’t tried. You haven’t tried the real solution. The real solution is surrendering to the Lord and letting him take over, letting him give you his strength, letting him show you what he wants.

He can do all of that for you, but it takes your surrender. So join me and hundreds of other Catholic women who will be surrendering our food and weight struggles to the Lord as we spend 63 days practicing three spiritual disciplines that allow all of that to happen. Allow Him to take your food and weight struggles.

Allow Him to give you His strength. Allow Him to show you what He wants for you. We started today with three disciplines practiced for 63 days. With one amazing God, we’ll end your food and weight struggles forever. We’ll show you how to get to and maintain your healthy weight in a way that feels natural and gentle. And the reason it feels natural and gentle is because it’s the way that he designed it for you. 

So join us today go to weightlosswithaholyspirit. com and get started today.