And the thing is is that once you identify. With the real problem is, and we can solve for it.  Andy. And these are the things that I hear women struggling with.  The four things that we’ll be talking about is they say,  I don’t know how to plan. 

 

They also find that not. Having a structure on the weekends is a problem.  They’re off. Often trying to. Use food to have. Have that fun, spontaneous, this celebratory relay. Relaxing relief. Feeling and their weekend. And the fourth thing. Is that when they don’t follow through on a plan. They give up.  If you forget it, I don’t care. 

 

I’ll start tomorrow. Or I’ll start Monday. And so will. Are we talking about those four things? And if you don’t know in our community, We have a very simple process where each. Each day we make what’s called an easy to stick to meal plan, which essentially is. What am I going to eat today? That’s easy to stick to the food rules. That we follow our, we eat food that we like, that we feel good about. And. That is made for the woman who will eat it. 

 

So chances are, if you. You go to a restaurant and you don’t want to eat.  Whitefish then you wouldn’t order. White fish. Or if you don’t want to eat yogurt for dinner, you don’t plan yogurt. We just. Plan. What’s easy to stick to. What’s realistic. Because the point is. Is that we want to eat food in the way that the Lord created food. He gave us taste buds. 

 

We want to enjoy it and we want to fill our bellies. And although we do want food to nourish ups, the majority. And the primary focus in our community is. Not that you have perfect nutrition. ’cause I’ll tell you. I. I don’t want to make perfect nutrition. My God, I just want my food to feel. Sane and peaceful and enjoyable. 

 

I don’t. I want food to be 75 to 80% of my life. It should just be. Whatever the percentages that the Lord wants so that we eat meals there. Enjoyable. And then we move on. 

 

So we create. Easy to stick to mail plan. And if we make changes, 

 

It’s not a problem. We can just look at them. And learn from them. And we might have changes that we’re because. Because.  And so we just make changes. And so I want to. Talk to you about the benefit of looking at the changes that we. We make. And they may be because when we made the plan.  We had some information. And later. We had new information.  Maybe. Maybe. 

 

Our social plans change. Changed and that’s totally fine, but I also want to give you an example of how. How important it is to look at. A change. That’s made. 

 

If you make it on the weekend. 

 

Okay, so let’s talk about. The four. Main obstacles to actually having an easy to stick to meal plan. And  following through with that. And then if we don’t follow through or changes. Changes are made. Being able to actually look at that and learn from that. Okay. So the first thing I hear from women is that I don’t know how to plan. ’cause I don’t know that plan.  So. First of all your brain is freaking out. 

 

And I just want to tell you it’s not a problem to. To not know. What your social plans are for the day. Or the structure of the day. But the truth is. Is that it’s just that you don’t know where. What or when you will eat.  And you’re like, Well, Denise, that sounds like a lot of things. I don’t know where, what, and when.  Are, you might know part of that, where, what Orwin. But I’m guessing that you do know a few things, you do know that you will be eating. Eating food.  You do know that you’ll be eating food likely at a. Table or some sort of surface.  You.  Can also know how you choose to eat that food.  No matter what food is on the plate. And so, although you may not. No, what exactly will be on that plate? 

 

You can. Decide. Side and plan how you will eat it. In our community, we have three habits. Habits where we chew our food 20 times. We empty our hands. Between bites.  And we empty our mouth before we put another. The Biden.  Do you have to do that a hundred percent of the time.  No. No human does anything a hundred percent of the time. But it’s totally. Totally possible to plan that that is how you will eat. 

A lot of people say, oh, I forget what I’m in the moment. 

 

All right. We’ll set a reminder in some way. Way. 

 

Totally possible. Set a reminder. Put a note in your pocket. Women.  Learn tips and tricks on how to remember things. All the time. So a pro tip that I have when I go out. Out to eat that makes it easier to do this is that if we order. Appetizers. I make sure that I don’t eat from the main plate. I always ask for a separate plate and I put the appetizers on my plate so I can see. What my portion is, I don’t just pick from the main. Plate. I don’t know, it just helps me feel more mindful of what I’m eating. The other thing is that I also often had a hundred percent of the time. Ask for a separate plate. 

 

When my meal is served. So that I can portion the part that I want to onto that plate.  It helps me eat slowly.  And I don’t feel so distracted by the amount. Or compelled to eat that amount.  You might have your own, pro-tip just decide. What works for you? You’ve always heard the one where someone says, I’m going to ask for it to. Go container. When the meal comes and that works for some people that’s. That’s totally cool. 

 

If that works for you. 

 

And just being mindful. Mindful.  Being mindful and looking at the thoughts.  If you start to notice yourself feeling anxiety, just calming. And down. So not knowing what the plan for the day is, is not. The problem.  Because you can still plan. 

 

A couple other pro tips. If you’re going. To a party or a potluck. I usually have women decide ahead of time. How many plates you will have, how many appetizer plates. How many.  Main plates you’ll have, and you could even have a loose skeleton. When I go to this party, I will have.  A certain portion of meat and then a couple sides. Whatever works for you. 

 

It can be a loose skeleton. And you can always. Change things. My friends.  You can. Always change things. We’re currently in the 63. Search. Surrendered challenge. Which means that as women make. Changes they’re simply surrendering them, which just means writing them down before they take the first. Sprite. 

 

Just watch your thoughts. Sometimes there’s that. Perfectionism problem. When you’re trying to make a plan. Plan, and I just encourage you to not worry about being perfect. This is your best. Guests. This is the best guest you have with the information. That you have, and it’s okay to make a change when you get new information.  I like to ask myself, well, what do I know? 

 

And if I had. I had to guess, what would, I guess.  What have we done in. The past. 

 

So that’s solving. For. I don’t know how to plan.  Cause there’s always. Something you can plan.  You could even plan to write your food.  Once you do know your social plan.  Right. Write it out before you take the first bite, that’s a plan.  Okay. So now the second thing that I see trip up some women is that there is no structure. On the weekends, this happens a lot for empty-nesters. 

 

They feel bored. They feel like they’re walking around aimlessly. And one client. Of mine. So she said it was helpful for her to make an easy to stick to meal. Plan once she somewhat artificially created. Structure on her weekend and it’s specifically, it was on Saturday. Her husband worked and she was home all day by herself. And. So she decided that she would create a loose structure based. On things that she enjoyed. 

 

So I’ll do this from eight to 10. Then I’ll have a snack at 10 30 and then I’ll work on this from. 11 to one and then I’ll have lunch. You can start to just. Just create a loose plan. 

 

It can be things you enjoy. It doesn’t have to all. I’ll be productive. It can be optional. You can plan just a few. A few optional plans. A few things. That are fun and enjoyable and create that. That spot. Spontaneity that relaxation, that feeling of. Relief. Of feeling taken care of.  Maybe you can go to a library, look around the library. We go sit in a coffee shop. 

 

Maybe you can go allow yourself to. To buy some fun things as you go through a store or just go do. I do some window shopping. Just think of what would be fun. And then you’re not. Going to do this on Saturday morning, guys, do it the night before. Or during the week. So you have something to look forward to artificially create. Create a structure. And just a really fun day for yourself. No pressure. 

 

Just try that. Things that you. You want to do. 

 

If there’s an area of. Of errands that you want to do, do it in a way that doesn’t. It feel hustley or feel hard. Just keep. It fun. 

 

All right. Number three. Trying to use food. To create. Celebration fun. Spontaneity relief. Relaxation. Hey, guess what guys? 

 

All of those things are feelings.  That are created from your thoughts. 

 

All of those things you can have. Without. Putting one. Thing in your mouth. Now I. I know that your brain doesn’t believe me. Because you have always been using food. For these things, but now we’re going to start asking Amber and bring how, what. What else is fun in my life. What else feels relaxing? What else? It is spontaneous. 

 

What. What else feels like a celebration.  And when did you start asking your. Brain that question. It’ll start looking for answers.  So I want to go back. Back to Monday through Friday friends, if you find it huge exhale. Exhale on the weekends. I want you to start looking at Monday through Friday. And see. I see where it’s feeling heavy and burdensome. More than it needs to be.  What are you? Doing that feels so stressful during the week. And how can we start to make your Monday through Friday feel like. Lighter, where can we infuse some lightness, some relief in. In Monday through Friday so that when you get to Friday night into Saturday, And all the way through Sunday, it doesn’t feel like the only time of your week. Week that you’re having some fun and enjoyable things. 

 

Try to look. Look for ways that you can be spontaneous and have fun that. Are not food-related. There is a podcast. That I did. That’s on non-food rewards. I will link. That in, so that you can, it there’s a PDF of 60. Nine non-food rewards.  And. Essentially our reward. Is us saying, I appreciate you. I see. I see you, you’re doing a fantastic job. 

 

And one of the easiest cheapest. Ways that you can get that feeling is just start doing that for. Yourself start seeing all the amazing things that you’re doing.  Started appreciating yourself. Start. Flooding your brain with those many dopamine. M I N I DAPA. Dopamine hits of, wow. You’re listening to this podcast. Oh, my gosh. You’re starting to find. And non-food ways. 

 

Look at that report. You did.  Look at how you were that mom that drove those kids. And you didn’t feel like it. You made that meal plan start. Start looking for all the amazing things that you’re doing in your day and appreciate. Appreciating yourself.  Food is not our only retreat. Street, our, our food is not our only treat. It’s not our only reward. 

 

If you want lasting weight loss, we’re going to have to. To learn new solutions. Do you see when we start. To identify what the problem is. The problem is is that food is your. Only way potentially, let’s say, this is your problem.  That. You’re treating yourself or showing yourself reward. Ah,  Once we know the problem, we can find solutions. ’cause I know you want to be at a healthy weight. 

 

The Lord wants you at. At a healthy weight. The Lord wants you to start treating yourself with kindness and respect. And see how amazing you are and all of the awesome. Awesome things that you do in a day.  Start doing that. For yourself.  We don’t need other people to see us do. I do things.  Do it for yourself and you will start. To feel the need. To treat yourself only with. With food.  Diminish. 

 

If you need to find other non-food ways to show yourself, appreciate.  reward to have fun and spontaneity, just Google. Fun things I can do on the weekends. 

 

Ways I can be spontaneous that are free.  And. And you’re going to find so many ways. That are not food.  Because the problem.  Is that you’re using food. To get these things. 

 

And it’s the. Only thing and that’s, what’s keeping you overweight. So let’s incur. Increase fun. Celebration relief, relaxation. In other ways. In your life. So that food is not the only way we get to cult. Cultivate those feelings. And non-food ways. 

 

It’s going to feel odd at first, but you’re learning. A new skill and just know it feels odd. Because our brains. I hate new things, but I promise you that you are worth. With it, you are worth. Learning how to live in. In a way that feels fun and energizing and. And relief and not burdensome. 

 

Even. Even without putting food in your mouth.  Now the fourth. Thing about weekends is that if we’re creating not. Easy to stick to meal plans and we’re probably not able to follow through. But let’s say. You create an easy to stick to meal plan and you don’t follow through. 

 

And that perfectionism comes in and start saying, oh, forget it. Well, I’ll just.  Forget the whole day.  I don’t care anyway. I’ll just start tomorrow. Well, this doesn’t really matter. 

 

Number one. I want to tell you. That change is a part. Of life, you guys. 

 

Change is totally a part. Part of life brains. Hate change. And it’ll. Make it mean you’re weak. You can’t stick to anything. How about. Things just changed. 

 

Things just changed and you don’t have to make it mean anything. 

 

The second thing is that brains are really great at. What. We know.  And so if you. You know the, oh, forget it. I’ll start tomorrow. This doesn’t matter.  And you know, that pattern. Expect it to come up. Your brain is going to offer it to you because it is. Well, Well-worn path. 

 

The other thing you need to know is. That humans have emotions.  And if you eat out of. Emotions.  Again, your brain is just doing. What it’s always known. 

 

Expect that there will be times there will be times that you overeat out of. Social pressure. There will be times that you overeat out of emotions. There will be times that you eat out. Out of boredom to have fun to celebrate. 

 

There will be times that you emotionally eat that you stress eat.  Because. 

 

Brain’s hate. Changing.  Because brains do.  Well, they’ve always known. 

 

And because you’re a human. A human that has emotions. So expect that there will be times. Times that you emotionally eat. Even if you’ve gone a very long time without. About doing that.  It just happens. 

 

Did you hear me say anything that you’re weak? You’re bad. You’re simple. You’re stupid.  No.  No. When you find yourself. Overeating emotional eating.  Expect it.  And then help yourself. And one of the ways that you can help. Yourself is to not sweep it under the rug.  One. All of the ways is to use it as an invitation to lean in and care for. Yourself, there was something going on. 

 

You’re having a stress response. And it might’ve been, you were just, you just felt like you weren’t fitting in. It might just have been, you wanted to make someone else feel. Feel good. And you were afraid that they might be offended. It doesn’t matter. But I definitely tell you that one of the ways that you can. Overcome this and that you can show yourself such low. Loving compassion and can really be kind. To yourself is to take the time to look at what happened. Not with shame, but with curiosity,  And I say that as a woman. Who just left. Last weekend had a situation. 

 

Well, I found myself in one of my chaos food behaviors.  One of my behaviors that I don’t eat food while I’m cleaning up the meal. And I did. 

 

And as I noticed. Just myself, eating.  I stopped. I went. And grabbed my journal. And you guys.  I couldn’t journal. I had no words, but I just sat there with my journal and doodled a little bit.  I didn’t pressure myself to write anything. I just knew. I needed some care and some tenderness.  I went and. Hung out with my husband a little bit and just cuddled with him. And then. Then I still just kept saying, Denise, how can I make you feel. Better.  You’re obviously not having a good time here. Things aren’t going.  You’re just struggling a little bit.  I just kept feeling sad. 

 

I didn’t, I wasn’t able to articulate. Anything other than I was feeling sad.  And so I felt like. I was putting my arms around myself. And comforting me. And I said, let’s go take a shower and put your jammies on.  I took. A shower and I put my jammies on. And I just let myself be sad.  I didn’t force myself to feel better.  I wasn’t even able to really, to articulate what felt sad. 

 

But I’ll tell you the next day.  The next day. 

 

I sat with myself and I had some shame feelings. 

 

But I decided.  That I was going to look at them now, initially my brain didn’t want to look at it initial. Initially my brain wanted to say, Hey, not a big deal. We’re just. Going to start over. But I have a process. That helps. MI get.

 

To the root. Of what was happening. And I know personally, if I’m in a chaos, Eating behavior. I’m in a stress response and I was experiencing. stress for some reason. 

 

And so  I didn’t pressure myself. To figure it out, but I will tell you.  The Lord. Gave me an invitation and I decided that I would process it with him.  So I have a process that is a podcast I will link. That podcast in the show notes. So. That you have that as well. And it took me over an hour to. Do it, but every time I do it, I feel so much peace and compassion, and I understand myself. So much more. And again, my brain didn’t want to do it. 

 

My brain was. Like, oh, it’s not a big deal. Just move on.  But I’m going to tell you guys I’ve been doing this so long that it’s not about the food. It’s about me turning an ear to me. It’s about me. Knowing me and what I need to know so that I can get to the root. So I can support me more. It’s about my relationship. With myself. 

 

So be. Open to learning what you need to, to get to the root. Of what your stress eating and overeating. So that you’re not. Stuck in that cycle. 

 

That you can actually start to look at what the problem is. So that you can solve for it.  And what I uncovered you. This was crazy. I uncovered that I was having. Some feelings about me as a mom. 

 

Me as a mom.  And I don’t know if it’s because my kids are adopted.  Or if simply.  Being. Being a mom. And my ability to connect with my children. I. Was feeling really sad about that, but now I can look at that and I can. I can name it. 

 

I want to also. Also tell you that if you don’t want to process it, It’s totally. Okay. Okay.  But that is exactly how you. You get to the root.  Of what’s keeping you stuck.  What’s keeping you using food turned into. Food for comfort. 

 

So the four things that typically throw people off. Off. On the weekends and I hope you can listen to this and have found. Found some solutions is that you don’t know how to plan. You don’t know what to plan. And that’s not a problem. I already told you how to overcome that.  You don’t know the structure. 

 

That’s not a problem either. You have no structure. And your weekends and you guys, when you don’t have structure, you can really. Really hear your thoughts. Now, Monday through Friday, you’re usually distracted at doing your. Monday through Friday thing. So on the weekends, just expect to feel a little.  With your thoughts and the mind chatter. And so you can take this opportunity to look at your thoughts, but you can also support yourself. Itself by creating some structure and some fun things. 

 

The. The third thing is that you are searching for fun, relaxed. Laxation relief. Spontaneity. In food and. So we want to infuse those fun things.  And non food ways.  And then it’s that? That mentality of, oh, I blew it.  I fell off. Forget it I’ll start tomorrow. And I encourage you to. To not fall into. The perfectionism trap. You can restart your day. At any time.  You don’t have to blow a whole day when you can restart it.  And I really encourage you to also lean into those times. When you do find yourself overeating.  You will learn. So much. And this, my friends is how you have lasting. Lasting weight loss.  And so I hope this has been. Been helpful for you. 

 

And that you found some solutions. And it will decrease the mind drama and food drama that you have. Over the weekend. And I really encourage you to come over to weight loss with the holy spirit. Dot com and join our community so you can learn tips. And tricks like this, and every week you can be supported. 

 

So that. The weekends are not a problem for you. Or whatever is. Is that you are struggling with, that’s creating it. That’s creating a chat. Challenge for you to be at your healthy weight. All right, everybody. .

 

  Thank you for listening. If weight loss has felt hard, you aren’t doing it wrong. You’ve just been starting in the wrong place. Take our free five day weight loss challenge for Catholic women to discover what’s keeping you stuck. Visit WeightLossWithTheHolySpirit. com