All right, Q and A, I’m finding it difficult to make it easy to follow a meal plan. I vaguely have something in mind, but it mostly goes sideways. So you guys, I could tell Laura all day long, okay, do this, do this, do this, do this, do this, do this.

But that’s not gonna help Laura overcome what her brain is offering her. So if we can hear what her brain is telling her, then we can actually identify what her brain thinks is the problem. Hello, Laura, how are you?

Laura: Good, thanks. How are you?

Denise: I’m amazing. So let’s chit chat about this.

Laura: Okay.

Denise: What’s cooking for you?

Laura: Yeah. The other three pillars of this seem to be going really well and it’s great. The making a meal plan, while I love to make a meal plan, I never stick to it. And it very often goes sideways and basically it’s at the whim of whatever else is happening in the family and whatever else people want for dinner and that kind of thing. I find myself very unorganized.

And secondly, I wanna surrender to this program, but I find something in my head is telling me oh, this is just another thing. It’s not gonna work. And I’ve definitely got that sabotage conversation going in my head.

Denise: Okay. Yeah. Aren’t you glad you came on? This is gonna be really, this is gonna be really, really, really, really helpful for everyone.

Laura: Okay.

Denise: So do you wanna talk about sticking to your easy to stick to meal plan or do you wanna talk about this is just another thing.

Laura: Let’s talk about this is just another thing because in my head I feel like I’ve done so many different plans, diets, whatever, and I can force myself to do the thing. I want this to be different in that I don’t wanna have to keep forcing myself because what inevitably happens is I force myself to do the thing and do the thing, and then I get to the end and then I go back to old habits.

So yeah, so there’s definitely something there and I know this is not magic. And I keep saying to myself, you still have to make the right choices. Like I’m not gonna get to the goal that I wanna get eating pizza, or maybe I will. This is mindfully, but this is the chat in my head.

Denise: So the thought is this is just gonna be another thing. I’m just gonna go back to my old ways.

Laura: Yeah.

Denise: But you want the, you want this to truly transform you.

Laura: I do. And I almost feel like I really haven’t surrendered, and I keep praying to surrender, but I feel this resistance yeah, I think that’s the.

Denise: Yeah, can that just be okay because we’re only in week two. I mean, we’re starting week three. Like I’m still learning what surrender means.

Laura: Brilliant. Yeah, I can, that’s great. And that’s exactly aren’t we all the hardest on ourselves? Like, why don’t I have this down yet? Yeah. So I can relax into this process.

Denise: Oh, I love that. I can relax into this.

Laura: It’s. That’s a scary prospect though. If you are looking for results.

Denise: Okay. What if the relaxing into the process is what gets you the results? What does your brain think about that?

Laura: Is that even possible? It’s a paradigm shift for sure. And, I think there’s decades of old patterns saying that. How is that even possible? And so I guess that’s what surrender is to this process. Yeah. No, that’s good.

Denise: It seems like your brain believes it could be possible.

Laura: This is exactly what I needed. I have been really hard on myself keeping this.

Denise: Yeah.

Laura: Yeah. I’m sacrificing myself. Yeah, it’s yeah, my brain has been, yeah, definitely hard on myself, years, decades, success and failure and the back and forth and back and forth, and I have control over this.

And I’ve come to the point that I do recognize that this is a lifelong struggle and it’s something I don’t have control over. But I don’t think that I really have gotten to the point where I have surrendered all of this. And maybe I should just relax into the process. And see how it unfolds because so far.

Denise: I love that thought. Let me relax into the process and see how it unfolds. Okay. I’m sorry, go ahead.

Laura: No, that actually just hit something because I feel like, so even thus far, things have been occurring to me and I’ve been thinking differently than I have in the past. And it is hard to think that oh, if I just ate less carbs or if I just did this then dot, dot, dot and that’s all like myself being in control.

And I will say even though I haven’t been successful on the meal plan. And do staying within those guidelines I have been successful in being just be able to like, eat whatever the thing is and like, not feel super guilty about it or anything. Like it’s definitely it’s a process yeah. Okay. I think I know where I’m going to just relax into this process.

Denise: Okay. Let’s solidify this just a little bit more, Laura. So I want you to write down that I’m learning to relax into this process.

Laura: I’m totally doing to do that because I have to write everything down.

Denise: That’s because you’re a human and you have a human brain. There’s nothing wrong with you.

Laura: Very human brain.

Denise: Okay. It’s going to take about three to four weeks for you to practice this thought intentionally for your brain to believe it. Okay. Automatically. So I’m learning to relax into the process and let it unfold.

Laura: I’m going to incorporate that with my novena.

Denise: Yes. And I would suggest that you put it on a couple sticky notes so that you’re retraining your brain at different times as well, so it becomes a more automatic thought. It’ll just make it easier for you.

Laura: Wonderful. All right.

Denise: Yep. Okay. Just like picking up your toothbrush with the left hand, we need to, or non-dominant hand.

Laura: Yeah.

Denise: Hey, can I just say one other thing while you’re right here? Do you mind staying for a second?

Laura: Sure.

Denise: Have you ever gone to England or Europe and have you ever driven a car there?

Laura: Oh, funny you say that because my husband’s actually Irish and we have go to Ireland often, and I don’t drive on the other side of the road because it’s terrifying.

Denise: Yeah. So I guess I just want to imagine that, be so kind to your brain because your brain is like driving in Ireland when you do this program and you’re like, I just want you to say, relax into it and just know that shift feels like that to your brain.

Laura: Yeah, I will. Yeah, and it is. I mean, actually even just saying this out loud generally not someone who comes onto these things and shares, but saying it out loud makes me actually articulate what it is that is going on. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you.

Denise: Oh, thank your brain. Do you wanna talk about sticking to your easy to stick to meal plan?

Laura: Sure. That seems to be the more task oriented thing, so Yeah.

Denise: But it’s all mindset. I honestly will tell you that. It still all comes back to what you’re thinking. So if your goal is to stick to your easy to stick to meal plan. What is getting in the way?

Laura: Really. I think I’m overriding myself because I think what you’re saying is just write down a meal plan, not write down a meal plan that’s 1500 calories and has so many macros and all of this. And I am getting stuck in doing that. Right?

Denise: Yes. That is not the definition of an easy to stick to meal plan.

Laura: Right. I literally could write down pizza for dinner.

Denise: Yes.

Laura: Yeah. I’m not doing that because I’m like overthinking this.

Denise: All right, so then what’s prevent, so I’m gonna keep mindset of meeting you because you’re gonna leave a changed woman, which you already are.

Laura: Okay.

Denise: You already are. But now there’s something in your brain that says that’s not safe to make an easy to stick to meal plan.

Laura: Right.

Denise: What is your brain afraid of, or what is your brain telling you?

Laura: My brain is telling me. If my goal is to lose weight, having a meal plan that has pizza on it, I’m just using that as an example isn’t gonna get you to your goal. So what I’m now catching myself on is maybe really that’s not the goal. Maybe I have to redefine the goal as like a different relationship with food over the long run, or like a healthy weight naturally.

Like I think I have to wordsmith my goal a little bit. So that’s not the fear because for decades, in Weight Watchers or whatever the thing is you count your points, you do your thing, and I’m always. I have that mechanism in my head, I think.

And so when I’m doing this meal plan, like almost calculating, well, that’s not gonna get me to where I wanna be, rather than just, I think maybe I should just write down what I wanna have for dinner and what everybody else is gonna have for, and not overthink it. Is that, am I off base here?

Denise: No, you’re right on base. You’re right on. Because what you’re doing is you’re not learning the foods that help you get to a weight loss. You’re learning a skill.

Laura: Yeah.

Denise: The skill. It doesn’t matter what food you plug into the skill.

Laura: Yeah. And that’s not the approach I’ve been having. It has to be the right food or the good food or the whatever. Yeah. The right thing is, and I think I’m falling into that good food, bad food category, paradigm piece where that’s not true. I don’t believe there’s bad food. It’s just in the way that I use it .

So I think I’ve been struggling because I’ll do something different for my husband. Like, why can’t I just have the stir fry without the rice or have the same thing? Doesn’t have to be like, why am I making it so difficult for myself? To follow.

Like for example, like last night, he did want, he did have pizza and I just felt myself defeated because I’m like, well, that’s not in the plan. But why can’t it be? I can’t, it’s not, it won’t get me to the goal if I eat the whole pizza, but I could have two pieces and a salad.

And so yeah, I think I am. So maybe the fear, ’cause your question was, what am I afraid of? Maybe the fear is that I’m not doing it right.

Denise: Which makes a lot of sense. You have decades of diet mentality.

Laura: Yeah.

Denise: So what if he relaxed into this process and let it unfold? What would that woman who relaxes into this process and lets it unfold, what would she do?

Laura: She would do just what I said, like not sweat the small stuff. Okay. Dinner is stir fry with rice and maybe I’ll have the rice, maybe I won’t. I think that my diet mentality says just serve the stir fry and don’t eat the rice. And that might be like a relaxed piece of it.

Denise: And then can I just challenge you a little bit?

Laura: Yeah.

Denise: For a woman who’s learning to relax into this process. And let it unfold. It kind of feels like fluid and flexible. Why would she not eat the rice?

Laura: Yeah.

Denise: It doesn’t matter to eat the rice or not. I just want you to ask yourself the question

Laura: Because I’m in that diet mentality.

Denise: Okay.

Laura: That diet mentality so if I wasn’t, if I was fluid and just I would eat the rice. Actually, so here’s the thing that I have learned in the last few weeks, is rice would probably be a trigger food. So same with like pasta bread, that kind of stuff. It would make me want to eat more than I need to be healthy and really probably even full.

Denise: Okay.

Laura: But I could try both ways. See? Actually that would be an interesting experiment, right? If I tried it both ways. Tried having the same meal two days in a row and see what my body felt like.

Denise: Sounds like a fun experiment. That’s what this is about.

Laura: Yeah.

Denise: It’s all about experimenting, discovering what works for you, Laura, today. You’ve never lived this day. What would a woman who’s relaxing into the process and letting it unfold do with this experiment idea?

Laura: She’d do it. Yeah. She’d be like, oh, that’s interesting.

Denise: Yes. So what’s shifted for you?

Laura: It’s acceptance, I think. Or maybe the other word for that is surrender. Yeah. And looking at this from a different perspective, from a curiosity perspective rather than maybe a punitive one or such, like a goal-driven one. Which probably that’s another shift too, because I tend to be particularly like goal oriented. I say that all the time actually.

And I think weight loss, that has been something I have in the past gotten to the place where I wanna get to. So you achieve your goal if the goal is simply losing weight, but at this point, like that’s not the goal anymore. So this is a different paradigm, the different perspective, a different way of at things. And it does take patience with yourself, which I don’t have.

Denise: Well, and let’s recognize that goal. Part of your brain likes to achieve things, and so weight loss is not something that you can go out and do. It’s an outcome. What you can do and is in your control is experimenting, is doing the four habits. Noticing your thoughts.

Laura: Just jotting things down.

Denise: Our goals have to be something that we can control and do.

Laura: So I think yeah, I’ll experiment and see what happens.

Denise: Yeah, keep us posted. I know the woman would love to hear that. Thanks, Laura.

Laura: Thank you very much. That was fun.

Denise: Thank you. I’m so grateful she came on. Thank you. We’re all thanking you. That was so helpful. We got a double dose. That was great. See, that wasn’t scary at all. I want you to see that this is fun. That your brain is doing nothing wrong, that all these thoughts don’t mean that you are doing anything wrong. Your brain is doing what normal human brains do.

We can help you get to your healthy weight without dredging up your past without. Unearthing past traumas and wounds, we can start here today and make significant change for you, significant progress. I don’t want you to be left behind.
So go to weightlosswiththeholyspirit.com. See what we have going on, and see what you can join in on so that you can get to your healthy weight eating the foods that you love, without dieting without restriction. I’ll see you soon.