That we are actually using different methods and different styles of eating or exercising or movement, or maybe even some fasting or just the way that we live in the rhythms that we have of our lives. But we’re doing that because the Lord is like, oh, this is what I want for you and this is what I want for you now, and this is what I want for you. Because he is telling us that this is what he wants for us.  

So we don’t feel a pressure to do these things. We feel conviction. We are partnered with the Lord, but that can’t happen. And that is the phase two until we work through phase one. And phase one is what I like to call recalibration. Phase one is where I say we are returning to him. And phase two is we are. Doing it for love of him. 

So let’s talk about that, what each phase looks like and questions that you may ask yourself to know when you’re ready to move into phase two. So let’s begin. Phase one is what I call that recalibration stage in phase one. We are laying down the spiritual, the mental and emotional foundation for lasting, peaceful weight loss, lasting. 

It’s not a diet. It’s about transforming your interior, transforming you to repair your relationship with food, transforming you in the way that you repair your relationship with the Lord and with yourself.

And you guys know that you need to repair the relationship that you have with yourself. If you’re really critical and condemning and believing that mean girl voice is what’s going to motivate you, that’s crazy. I mean, it’s not crazy because that’s what the world tells us.

But we never speak to our children that way. We’d never speak to toddlers that way, to motivate them to do better. No, we’d lift them up. So we want to start acting and treating ourselves kindly in this whole process. So that’s part of repairing that relationship. Part of repairing our relationship with food is that we’re giving ourselves unconditional permission to eat any food.

There’s no food that’s off limits. During the process, it might be revealed that some certain food substance may cause chaos in your life, and then you will choose out of an act of care and love for yourself to not have that food. But it won’t be because you can’t have it or shouldn’t have it. It will be out of an act of love.

So repairing your relationship with food, with God, and yourself, allowing yourself to eat the food the way that God designed you to eat it, and the way that the Lord designed you to eat your food is different than the way he designed me to eat my food. And I know that because you have different taste buds than me.

He gave you different taste buds, different preferences. I like really creamy food and I like dipping things, and I love cilantro. I have a friend of mine who says that cilantro tastes like soap and can’t stand it. So it’s very clear that the way that the Lord designed us to eat food and enjoy food is very personalized.

So let’s talk to him about that. Let’s start eating the way that he designed us, the way that he designed you. Not by following a food plan that a stranger made who doesn’t even know you. And part of repairing your relationship with food is repairing your relationship with yourself, meaning that you’re allowing yourself to eat these foods.

In phase one, we’re also recalibrating to God’s truth. God’s truth about food. God didn’t make food evil. God made you with your own taste buds and preferences. God just doesn’t want food to be your God. He wants you to enjoy it as a gift, as a way to enjoy your life. And of course, keep you nourished and like moving.

He just doesn’t want food to be your God. So let’s recalibrate to his truth on food, his truth on him. He loves you. He sees all the things that you and I do every single day that we’re not so happy about. 

And he isn’t shaking his finger over us. He’s just extending his hand saying, Hey, you fell. Hey, you tripped. Let me help you up and recalibrating to God’s truth about you. About how no matter if you do not lose one pound, how even if you do not change your food, or even do phase one weight loss.

You are unconditionally loved. You don’t have to do anything to earn his love. You don’t have to be too pants size lower. You don’t have to do any of this work. And when we truly understand that that is true, we start treating ourselves different. 

The third part of this recalibration stage is retraining our brains, and this is why I think we are just living in such a beautiful time where the neuroscience is so advanced that we can recognize that our brains are having thoughts, and that when we follow those thoughts, we get certain actions or when we follow those thoughts, we do certain things that get us certain results.

And so having certain thoughts will get us either what we want or what we don’t want, and so we get to say, well, is this thought getting me what I want? Is this helpful? Is this thought not getting me what I want? Is it unhelpful? We get an opportunity to start looking at our thoughts and changing them so that we can get what we want. 

So we’re retraining our brain to practice three essential skills, three skills. And I truly believe these are the hallmark and the skills that you need to pursue to get through phase one. And those three skills are learning and retraining your brain to eat without dieting, to eat without feeling guilt. To eat without fear of overeating. 

You guys, it’s just a brain thing. They’re just, it’s just a skill. You can’t hear me talk about it and it magically happen. Remember that skills are things that you didn’t know how to do and you’re taught them and you practice them and you get better when you practice them. No one was born knowing how to do these things. 

But it’s a skill that you can learn how to eat food that you enjoy without fear of overeating it, without guilt, and without dieting. Essential skill number one. The other skill of phase two that’s necessary is that you need to learn how to anticipate your needs.

But even more important, I believe, is your desires throughout the day where you can look ahead at your day and say, Hey, you know what, at three o’clock I’m really gonna want two pieces of chocolate, so I’m gonna plan two to three pieces of chocolate. You know what? In the afternoon, I know I’m really going to want fill in the blank.

You know what? When I have lunch, I know two tablespoons of hummus won’t be enough. I really want a quarter cup of hummus. So you allow yourself to plan that stuff. I know that I’m going to have a really busy day, so unless I’m going to plate my dinner the night before, I probably will have to lean on fast food tonight.

And you just plan it. It is a very intentional tool that you’re using. That skill of being able to look ahead at your day and anticipate your needs and desires is a skill you cannot move into phase two until you learn that skill.

Phase two is like someone just handing you a meal plan, being like, follow this, and half the food isn’t even in your house and you’ve never even grocery shopped for it. That’s not a plan made for you. That’s not a plan that you’re prepared for. We need to be honest and be able to anticipate your needs and anticipate your desires and wants.

And the second half of that is, and be able to meet them. And part of being able to meet them honestly, is just giving yourself permission to meet them. You have lived as many days as you have. You know what you’re going to want. Giving yourself permission to have it is where the real work begins. 

And it will be uncomfortable allowing yourself to have foods that have been off limits for a while. That’s okay. It’s just uncomfortable. It’s like brushing your teeth with your left hand. It’s just uncomfortable. It doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.

And the third essential skill that phase one will allow you to practice and learn and hone is learning how to emotionally support and care for yourself without using food, by using other tools. Speaking of tools, the tools that we use in phase one of Catholic weight loss is creating what’s called an easy to stick to meal plan.

If you’ve listened long enough to this podcast, then you know that an easy to stick to meal plan is a plan that you make at the beginning of the day with the foods that you love, that you feel good about and that fit in your day. As you plan each meal, you say, is this easy to stick to? And if it’s not, you just make adjustments. So that’s one of the tools. 

Another tool we use is the self-coaching model, which is noticing our thoughts and being able to align our thoughts with the Lord. So the Lord wouldn’t say, you’re so stupid. The Lord wouldn’t say, I can’t believe you overeat that.

The Lord would say, wow, what did we learn now? I see you. You need more support there. How can I help you? So we are aligning our thoughts by using the self-coaching model. Another tool that we use in phase one is ai. We can use chat, GPT or Grok or any of them to ask certain questions, certain things like, I don’t know what to eat today. Help me through this. 

And in some of our groups we have AI prompts where we train our AI so that it can actually coach us through our program. It is fantastic. Your AI does not know anything about you, but we teach you how to train your AI so that it knows about you and the program that you’re following.

Other tools are things like a supportive community. Of other people who are trying to do this and follow the Lord, because you guys know in the world other people are not doing this. They are counting calories and they know macros and they know a lot about phase two, but they don’t know a lot about phase one of recalibrating your life to the Lord and surrendering this area of your life to him.

My point is, and I wanted to list just a few of the tools that we use is ’cause I’m, you didn’t hear me say that any of our tools are the scale. Scale doesn’t help you. The scale doesn’t help you eat without dieting, guilt, or fear. The scale doesn’t help you be able to anticipate your needs and your desires and being able to meet them. The scale doesn’t help you emotionally support and care for yourself without food.

What about a special food plan? Does it teach you any of those things? No. What about the mirror? What you look like in the mirror? Does it teach you how to do those things? Should we keep looking in the mirror as a tool? Nope. What about pretending like you don’t need care? Self neglect that you don’t have enough time?

Does that help you eat without guilt, dieting, or fear? Does it help you anticipate your needs and desires and meet them? Does it help you emotionally support and care for yourself without food by neglecting yourself? Nope. What about being really critical and that motivating mean girl voice, does that help you? No, none of that. 

The goal of phase one is to be proficient in those three skills, and when you’re proficient in those three skills, then you master the ability to make an easy to stick to meal plan. That you can actually stick to. 

And the reason you’re able to stick to it is not because you’ve white knuckled your way through it, but because it matches your tastes, it matches the day’s demands. It matches your life. You have accurately anticipated your needs and desires and wants and the rhythm of your day. 

And you aren’t thrown off because you’ve mastered the skill of being able to emotionally support and care for yourself without food, so you can stick to any plan ’cause it meets your life. And when life throws you a curve ball, you have other tools. So you’re not leaning on food to get through life. 

And once you can make an easy to stick to meal plan and it matches your needs and the day you’re able to stick to it, which means you are then ready for phase two. A couple questions before you move to phase two that you can ask yourself.

Number one. Am I kind to myself consistently? Do I speak kindly to myself even when things don’t go as planned? Especially with food, because when we’re kind to ourselves, then we look at that as an opportunity to learn and to support ourselves more in whatever area it was that threw you off from following your plan.

The second question you can ask yourself, do I trust myself to make a flexible food plan that honors my needs, my desires, without trying to do it perfectly? Are you okay not being perfect? If so, then you might be ready for phase two where you can move forward with freedom from feeling shame and controlled by food or fear of overeating, and really stay rooted in connecting with the Lord.

The third one is my motivation to lose weight coming from. Love, love of God, my body, my life, or fear, frustration and striving. If you still feel that fear, frustration, and striving, then the scale is your God.

What we want to move you to in phase one is to recalibrate you to being a steward of your body. I am not a slave to a number, a diet or any external measurement. Not making any of that your God. Okay, so that’s phase one. And once you have the ability to make an easy to stick to meal plan that adequately and accurately anticipates your needs, then we start making some experiments. 

In phase two, this is where we look at your easy to stick to meal plan. And you can actually say, Hey, am I at my healthy weight? ’cause maybe you are at your healthy weight and we will not know you’re at your healthy weight until you can make an easy to stick to meal plan and stick to it. 

But if you feel the Lord is calling you to. Weight loss. Then we just get intentional with it. Then we say, okay, Lord, we’re gonna answer that call and we’re going to start running some experiments with our food. It should feel fun and light and experimental and adventurous.

And it will be a hundred percent guided by the Lord. Because you are now connected with him. You are aligned with him. Food is no longer standing in the way between you and your connection with the Holy Spirit. He is now. You are God, you have recalibrated and surrendered this area of your life so that now the Lord can lead you.

He recently told me in adoration, Denise, set it down so that I can pick you up and lead you. And I feel like that’s what phase two is, where you set the weight loss down and the Lord’s like, all right, now let me lead you. And you will never be able to be that if you are still connected to the scale, the mirror or the food as your God.

And so just know phase one is so darn important, so darn important. So because you are united a hundred percent with him in phase two, you will be doing everything. For love of him because he has told you. And if you are at your healthy weight, you will know it at that point.

And that is when you look at what does work for me? And we can look at all the food rules that you have. And I don’t like to call them food rules at this point, because now what we do is we start moving into discovering what works for you in this season of your life. We start running experiments.

Some experiments that some women have run are things like you. We start to open your eyes on some patterns in your life and see if we can detect a pattern that could be standing in the way of your weight loss. 

For example, I had one client who found that when she would come home from being away from home, she would find that she would want to have a snack, and that’s not a problem if that’s what you want, but if you find that you would like to lose weight, then having food that’s helping with a transition. Into being at home might not be the method that you want to use and the tool you want to use for this transition time.

So we developed a different routine for her coming home. I had another client who noticed that when she would come home after grocery shopping, she would just be so ravenous. And what we noticed was that she. I was really exhausted and it really felt overextending to her grocery shopping.

So she would take the groceries and put them on the counter and go take a nap, like a 15 minute little power nap, knowing that nothing would spoil, and maybe she had ice cream she’d put in the freezer and then she’d come back and feel refreshed. So it’s those sorts of things where we start really solving for some of the problems that are keeping your weight loss stuck.

So I thought it might be fun at this point to tell you a little bit about me and some phase two weight loss experiments that I have run personally. So I’ve been in intentional weight loss three times because honestly, phase one has where I’ve lived the majority of my life. I just want freedom from food, from food is my God. I want freedom from food being. What I run to when I’m stressed and overwhelmed. 

And so I just really have lived phase one, a good 10 years. And it wasn’t until I had an extreme gut healing, extreme need for gut healing that I went into intentional. It wasn’t intentional weight loss, it was intentional healing.

And you’ll hear from. This experience, how it truly is a phase two situation. Phase two just means you’re united with the Lord. The Lord told you to do it, and you are surrendering to He told you to do it. And weight loss is not your God. 

So I had three different scenarios. The first one was in a gut healing. The second one was after the gut healing, and I had gained a lot of weight, a lot, meaning 25 pounds. And the third one I am currently in. 

So let me tell you about my experience with phase two healing or a health challenge. So I have a sibo, small intestinal bacterial overgrowth. I had a pretty extreme flare up where I was able to eat five foods only. And I just kept praying and researching and praying and researching and praying and researching, and came upon the carnivore diet. 

And you can listen to my podcast on the carnivore diet. And I felt like the Lord was like, you should do this. Just so you know, with sibo, vegetables and fruits and grains ferment in the gut and cause flare-ups when you’re in a extreme situation.

But meat and butter. And oils do not ferment. And while if I removed everything that could ferment from my gut, it would then decrease the fermentation and the inflammation, and then my gut could heal. Okay? So the Lord called me to do this, and so I said, okay, Lord. Okay. 

So I kept connecting with him and he kept saying, I’ve got something news for you. And I’ll tell you, I trusted him until I stepped on the scale and was eight pounds heavier within like two weeks. And then I started saying, oh Lord, are you sure this is what you want? And I was a hundred percent sure this is what he wanted. ‘ cause I knew my gut was healing. 

But the problem in my brain was that I was gaining weight. So my brain wanted to make it a problem that I was gaining weight. But I needed this healing. And so for four months, September, October, November, December, yeah, for four months, I would keep going to him and I said, Lord, this is really uncomfortable. The scale kept going up. 12 pounds, 15 pounds, 18 pounds, 20 pounds, 22 pounds. 

And I just kept saying, Lord, this is really uncomfortable. Are you sure this is what you want? And I was a hundred percent sure it’s exactly what he wanted. A hundred percent. And now I can see what he was doing. He was healing my gut, but he was also very much detaching me from my thin body. 

That body that I’d been in, you guys. I can see now that I’d gotten into a lot of unhealthy behaviors, a lot of unhealthy foods, a lot of unhealthy, sugar-free syrups and keto breads where I believe my body was almost unnaturally thin because I believed I was eating those foods. Not in a surrendered way.  I was seeking them for comfort. 

And so I think the Lord said, Hey, listen, you’re not with me. We’re gonna have to do something about that. And so I see that SIBO flare up was a way to detach me from these foods that had become my comfort. I could no longer eat them. And I have chosen to not return to them, and we’re going on two years now.

He also detached me from being attached to my thin body and I had to do a lot of body image work, but with him, and he led me through that. And the beautiful thing was, is that through that time. He created a course that I now offer called Letting Yourself Love Your Body, because it  so hard. It was so hard being in a different body than I was used to and loving it.

It really challenged me. It really stretched me to see my body change and still say, I’m gonna be nice to myself to see my body change and buy clothes in a bigger size to YouTube and Google different ways on how to dress in this different body. And I started practicing the thought. I’m a woman who knows how to dress.

To flatter herself or something like that. I remember I just had this thought that I would say that was like, I know how to be attractive. And it really helped me recognize like yes, you are beautiful. You’re beautiful, and you will take care of yourself no matter what. You are worth it. So he just really started to detach me from that.

He also started to detach me from people pleasing because when you eat a carnivore diet, it really separates me, my food, at least from other humans. And I know my husband had a lot of thoughts about the way that I was eating and I had to keep going back to, but God told me to do this. 

And what I want you to hear in my voice is that it was very calm. And I had many feelings, but it was with him now after those four months and my gut was healed. I recognize that. I had been following the advice of a group of carnivore people, a community, and parts of it I loved. Parts of it were great, and parts I didn’t love. 

And so I started to do what I tell all of you guys to do, which is to discover what works for you in this season of your life. And I said, Denise, all right. What if we keep what we know works? I just kept challenging myself. How can I keep this healing and do what works for me? So discover what works for me in this season of my life. And I said, okay, Lord, let’s do this.

And I wanna tell you I wanted to chase weight loss. But I didn’t wanna change my food. I didn’t wanna let go of my food. So I knew it would have to be a gentle process. And I knew that I was willing to just be at whatever healthy weight the Lord wanted for me. But there were some things I needed to clean up.

I could tell that I was overeating some of the carnivore food. I could tell that I was over consuming butter. I could tell that some things didn’t feel aligned and peaceful, and so I just gently and slowly by slowly decided to look at what are the areas that feel like they’re stealing my peace. And I would experiment with one area each week, and it was hard. 

Because I had to practice patience, but I knew I wanted to do it in a really natural, peaceful, no rush, no pressure way. And although I wanted quick weight loss, I had to let God lead and be honest with myself and what I felt ready to do. To be kind. To me, it was another act of just being tender and gentle and loving and caring to me.

I learned patience. I learned self-care. Really this whole process, that self-care was just that really allowing myself to purchase clothes that were bigger. And I started exercising. So during the gut healing, I’d stopped exercising and I’d been in exercise for my entire adult life. 

So I started exercising. And you guys, I went back to the gym in a different body. Wow. That was very humbling. And I just, I’m putting on my gym clothes and they’re tight, and I thought, wow, I’ve heard people talk about this. Here I am. So I had to buy some clothes that fit, but the first day I went. I just kept saying, I feel so fat. I feel so fat. 

And I came up with the intentional thought, I’m willing to feel fat. I’m willing to feel fat and still go to the gym. It was just, it was so different. It was just this whole life that I’d never experienced before. But I knew that the Lord wanted me to care for my body, and I knew he wanted me to move it, and I knew that. That’s enough reason to go to the gym and move, not for weight loss, but because he wanted me to care for my body.

So I got a chance to do it for love of him, and I got a chance to practice giving myself permission to discover what works for me in this season of my life. So I got to a place. Where I got to a recognizable body. But then through that whole process, I was able to return to him  and then be a hundred percent connected with him through the whole time, but be transformed. And I’ve learned the lessons that he wanted me to learn. 

And so now a year and a half later, after I lose that weight, he puts on another thing another. Level, if you will. I went to my gynecologist and we started talking about bone density and I do some light strength training three days at home.

I teach a strength training class virtually to some women that I used to train at the gym before the pandemic, but it’s pretty light guys. It’s been pretty light and I’ve been wanting to go back to the gym and strength train the way I used to. I’ve been wanting to do this for a couple years. Well, I just haven’t.

I’ll go like once a month and we have a membership. I’m one of those people. Oh my gosh. I’m one of those people. So I met my gynecologist office and we’re talking about bone density and my last bone density I got, I was osteopenic, which means that I am the beginning stages of osteoporosis. So that was like a year and a half ago.

And she goes, well, you know, you need to strength train. So she’s telling me all the things that I’m telling other people, well, you need to strength train to increase your bone density. And I’m like, yeah, I know I do. And I’m thinking in the back of my head, minimally. I just know it’s not the level that my body was called to because I’m insanely strong.

And though what I’m doing isn’t working enough for my body because I have osteopenia. I’m only 48 and I know it’s probably because of all my hormone issues. Gosh, I haven’t had a period since I was 18, so I just, we have lots of hormonal issues. It doesn’t matter why. 

The point is that she says, well, you need to strength train. And I said, oh, okay. I do. And then I hear myself say, well, I run a couple times a week. Because that was that’s been my main form of exercise and I heard myself say it and she goes but that won’t increase your bone density. 

And I knew that, and it was just a real eye-opener that I thought, Denise, you get a choice here. Do you wanna keep doing what you’re doing and risk at 48 guys? I thought, you know what? I’m 48. I could live 48 more years. At 48 more years, I’ll be 96.  So I’m only like halfway done with my life, let’s say.

And it just was an eyeopener. And I could just clearly hear the Lord saying, I want you to, I need you to get stronger. I need this physical body of yours to be stronger. ‘ cause you’re gonna. I have a feeling he’s preparing me for something pretty big, that I need a very strong physical body for. 

And so I looked for places to help me. I’m gonna make this part of the story short because I kept saying, Lord, I want to do this, but I do not wanna fall into the old patterns that I had. I don’t wanna chase, I don’t wanna chase a mirror. I don’t wanna. Looking a certain way. I don’t wanna chase all of that can be in sort of the gym culture that I come from.

I said, Lord, I’ll do this, but it has to be a hundred percent connected with you. I don’t want anything to distract me. I don’t want anything to come between you and me. And so I thought I had to find like a Catholic trainer or somebody to help me. I couldn’t find what I was looking for in the Catholic realm. And then he brought me something online.  

Anyway, so I’m now working with a secular person who knows my faith and who knows. This is super important to me. But here’s my point. You can just hear how intent I am on making sure that he is part of this. My point is that where I really got to was Denise, you don’t need the method to be a hundred percent aligned with the Lord.

You don’t need the method to be Catholic. You don’t need your trainer to be Catholic because you are aligned with the Lord. You are committed to making sure that every decision is with him, and I believe that that is only possible. Through phase one you guys. 

So by recalibrating your life and the way that you relate to food and weight and God and yourself through phase one, when you move to any sort of intentional change, intentional weight loss, it doesn’t matter what you do. It doesn’t matter what program you follow. You can go back to Noom, weight Watchers, whatever. You can experiment with anything because that method won’t be your God anymore. God will be your God.

The method doesn’t have to be Catholic because you are, the method doesn’t have to be aligned with God because you are the instrument that will be using the method. So you just have total freedom to experiment with anything. 

So I hope this gives you so much hope because you might be looking at some really fancy, sparkly methods out there, some diets that you’re like, oh, I wish I could do that. Well, guess what? Once you get through phase one, if the Lord wants that for you, you will, and you’re gonna have so much fun doing it.

So I hope I have clearly shown you that the world of weight loss is truly your oyster, and you can use any method, experiment with anything in phase two. But in phase one, your number one goal is to recalibrate your life to the Lord. And learn those three essential skills and those skills are learning to eat food without dieting, without feeling guilty and without fear of overeating it.

To learn how to anticipate your needs and desires throughout the day and be able to meet your needs and to learn how to emotionally support and care for yourself without food. And if the method that you’re using right now isn’t giving you those three skills, it will not help you. It won’t.

So if you want a way to learn phase one, we have a challenge called 63 surrendered. Our doors will open in September. In fact, I believe by the time this podcast is launched, you can go ahead and get signed up. We start the second week of September and you will be led through 63 days of getting through phase one weight loss. 

And then once you get through phase one, you can do anything for phase two. But if you want a challenge where you don’t have to think about how to do this. Then join us, get your friends, share this podcast. We’re all dun. DUN, doing things that don’t work. 

You are way too smart to keep wasting your time on short-term results. And you are so smart that when you see a done for you program, you’re like, yes, please. You don’t have to figure this out on your own. We do it for you, and you can be surrounded by other Catholic women all trying to do the same thing.  

So I hope I see you in 63 surrendered, but I wanted to release this podcast even before that time so that you guys. Know exactly where to put your time and effort. 

So one more time for the people in the back, if you are using a weight loss method that is not teaching you how to eat food without dieting, guilt, or fear, and is not teaching you how to anticipate your needs and desires and being able to meet them and is not teaching you how to emotionally support and care for yourself without food. 

Then stop doing it. You’ll just end up in despair. You’ll just end up gaining more weight and you’ll have exhausted yourself. So start working on phase one, join 63, surrendered today.  

All right, everybody. Have a blessed day.